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Bib Fortuna's Maw

Bib Fortuna's Maw

Well-Known Member
Nov 15, 2011
11,729
755
113
zippidy bang ba zoopla
Have you ever complained about anything?

Wrote or phoned a TV station or a radio station or penned a note to a newspaper?

I haven't - well, that's not strictly true, I did get a lengthy missive printed in the local rag about my kids' school getting closed in answer to the wee runt who runs the council who spends his time writing to the paper <grr><weedick>.

That wasn't really complaining, though - it was arguing a point with a *****.

Who complains to TV stations and the likes?
Why ****ing bother?

As if to highlight the stupidity of the most frequent complainers:

BBC Breakfast presenter Susanna Reid has hit back at viewers who criticise her revealing on-screen outfits.

She told Radio Times: "People seem to be shocked that women have breasts. There'll be complaints about the fact that there is literally a shadow showing."

In 2010 viewers accused the mum of three of showing too much cleavage during an interview with Hugh Grant.

But she said: "After breastfeeding three children I'm amazed that people think I still have a cleavage worth complaining about."

Susanna, left, added: "People are always going to talk about what women wear on TV. It's a fact of life."

She insisted she looked far from glam outside the studio and said: "The rest of the time it's jeans and T-shirts. I don't dress up and don't wear make-up.

"When I collect the kids from school on Friday afternoon, people think a different woman has come to pick them up. They simply don't recognise me."
Click to expand...

Someone went to the bother of moaning about a tittieshadow?

A natural, aspirational tittieshadow that fed three hungry babies?

What I'd like to complain about is the shoddy nature of this OP.

There's mention of Susanna Reid - it even specifically mentions her diddies and yet, there's no pics.

THAT'S worth penning an email about.


More titties for my license fee and less ****e like Formula 1.

Take all the money you give to the posh lads and autistic engineers that populate Formula 1 and re-invest the money in jugs.

Everyone loves jugs <ok>

Jugs nurse you as a child, entertain you as a youngster and fuel your productivity as an adult.

Titties.

More of 'em and less gay ****e <ok>
 
Mopey, moaning ****s. Are they Geordies?

On another note, I would.

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Dear Sir,

I find your appalling dismission of Formula 1 as "****e" highly offensive. Clearly you have not enjoyed the titties on display by the grid girls compliments of F1M and Mr Bernie Ecclestone.

Regards, indignantly,
Gambol
 
Dear BBC,

Please stop sending me TV licence reminders. Although I do own two TVs and watch them regularly, I have no desire to pay £145 for endless hours of Eastenders, costume dramas or the vacuuous ****e that passes for entertainment on BBC3.

Kindly **** off.

Yours,

Mr Bumwhizzle
 
Dear Sir,

All forms of motor racing are latently homosexual and, why, you may call me Barbara if it isn't so.

The aforementioned midget does indeed stock some titties around his franchise but I'm sure I could find a more efficient and cost-effective way of displaying jubblies on the cathode ray device in my parlour.

This entire dichotomy could be summed up rather succinctly.

"More titties, less motorised "sport""

"More newsreaders titties, less cookery programmes"

and of course

"Less Lloyd-Webber promos, more jugs that are not for homos" (this one rhymes:))

If your point needed further clarification, many, many people have tugged the general in the morning whilst trying to see through the lovely Ms Reid's clothing.

No-one manipulates the truncheon whilst watching Formula 1 - they are misplaced and wasted titties as well as overpriced,

yours,

Contented but ganting,
Renfrewshire
 
SaTan's Evil Twin said:
Dear BBC,

Please stop sending me TV licence reminders. Althougu I do own two TVs and watch them regularly, I have no desire to pay £145 for endless hours of Eastenders, costume dramas or the vacuuous ****e that passes for entertainment on BBC3.

Kindly **** off.

Yours,

Mr Bumwhizzle
Click to expand...

Dear Mr Bumwhizzle,

Thank you for your recent communication clarifying your TV licence status.

It is with great pleasure I am able to inform you that a snatch squad has been dispatched to your current location.

You're ****ed.

Regards,
The BBC
 
Bib Fortuna's Maw said:
Dear Sir,

All forms of motor racing are latently homosexual and, why, you may call me Barbara if it isn't so.

The aforementioned midget does indeed stock some titties around his franchise but I'm sure I could find a more efficient and cost-effective way of displaying jubblies on the cathode ray device in my parlour.

This entire dichotomy could be summed up rather succinctly.

"More titties, less motorised "sport""

"More newsreaders titties, less cookery programmes"

and of course

"Less Lloyd-Webber promos, more jugs that are not for homos" (this one rhymes:))

If your point needed further clarification, many, many people have tugged the general in the morning whilst trying to see through the lovely Ms Reid's clothing.

No-one manipulates the truncheon whilst watching Formula 1 - they are misplaced and wasted titties as well as overpriced,

yours,

Contented but ganting,
Renfrewshire
Click to expand...

Dear Sir,

We are saddened that you feel that way about motor sport in general and F1 in particular. We take your point that perhaps we could do more in the titties department and have embarked on a franchise wide development program to rectify the situation.

In the meantime, we have great pleasure in announcing that a snatch squad has been dispatched to your current location.

Regards,
Bernie Ecclestone.
 
Dear Bib,

I wholeheartedly agree with your assertion that there should be more titties on the screen, esp those of the rather lovely Susanna Reid whom I find to be most appealing and can confirm that I most definitely would.

On the subject matter of F1, I feel that I must refer you to the post from Mr Gambol with regards to the bountiful amounts of cleavage on show at every event, and those that follow the drivers and their entourage everywhere.

To conclude, whilst you have demonstrated your desire for more tits you have also revealed a penchant for bum sex with other men in your absolute denial of one of the most masculine sports in the world.

If you had been talking about Tennis or Cheese and Vegetable pies in your cirticism I would have understood comepletely.

Yours

SW6
 
What f1 needs, is to get rid of that old queen Ecclestone, and get his daughter running the show. <ok>


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Jubblies.
 
Handsome male, smoker, GSOH, can travel, seeking
females for sexy fun. Discretion guaranteed.
 
For sale. Commodore 64 personal computer.
Nearly works. £500 o.n.o
 
Gambol said:
For sale. Commodore 64 personal computer.
Nearly works. £500 o.n.o
Click to expand...

That's a bargain Gambol, and here was i about to announce that i have the super Commodore 128 in the loft for about a grand, but now i'm wondering if it may be just a smidge too steep. <laugh>
 
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