Come dine with me

Tina, Jen, Hornette, Me.

All courses would be me.

 

So no meat being served up then.

 

.

 

nine pepperami and a chipolata actually.

 

Did Barrymore no start smashing plates because it was a Greek dish?

 

I do like that programme and like Mick, I'm not big on the reality stuff.

There is a better, funnier programme on though. The Hotel. It's on a Sunday night at 8pm. It's like a real life Fawlty Towers.

 

aye in pat sharpes hoose pat sharpe was beelin at that haha

 

Starter: Pate

Fish Dish: Line Caught mackrel and beetroot

Main: Fillet Steak, thrice cooked chips, winter veg selection

Dessert: Lemon Tart

4 courses x 4

Guests: Me!!!!!

 

Channel 4 are as politically correct as it gets, there is always a person of ethnicity and a camp hairdresser on CDWM.

What famous celebrities, sports stars, significant figures from today or the past would you like to have round for dinner?

I'd like to see;

Malcolm X - token dark chap
Kenneth Williams - token ****
Marylin Monroe - token dumb blonde
Karen Carpenter - doesn't eat much

The menu would be;

Starter - Prawn Cocktail
Main - Pork loin medallions in a creamy mustard sauce with all the trimmings (Malcolm would have to have salad being a muslim and all)
Pudding - Apple crumble and custard

Not very adventurous I admit but it is all I can rustle up with what is in the freezer at the moment

Entertainment - Marylin could do a pole dance (she'd have to bring her own pole) and Ken & Malcolm could discuss the pros and cons of going on holiday to Morocco. Karen could do the dishes if she has enough strength, as long as the skinny bitch doesn't start to sing it will be fine (awful voice).

 

You're not helping yourself you know

 

I'm going for a meal on saturday. Somewhere on Byres road I think. Any suggestions? Was thinking Bo' Vine

 

Really? Did they have a dip in his pool?

 

Marilyn Monroe
Token Alien
John Merrick
Hitler

 

she was on it last night, she won it, I missed the first Juve goal watching it

 

That programme is unbelievable, how real do you think it is? One guy surely can't be as incompetent as the boss man.

 

It's the last one in the series this weekend. He's selling the place. I hope he doesn't. It's car crash telly. It's the quickest hour in the world

I'm glad that ****y guy's gone - he gave me the dry boak.

 

he did sell it, was in the paper

his other 2 hotels are in administration

 

Well Basil and Watery Farts were based on a real life guy and hotel

 

Aww that's a bit ****. It's probably my fave programme on the telly

 

Defo Bo'vine!

If I answered serioulsy, somecunt (ER) would have called me fat anyway!