I used to sing along to a Heinz Soup advert so you should call me Heinz because of that and the fact I've had 57 varieties in me.
Tetley tea is so weak you have to sit up at night with it. Tetley tea is like making love in a canoe. ****ing near water. Tetley tea is what I call "Lighthouse tea". Blinking near watter.
My mum and dad nicknamed us all after memorable things about our conceptions. My sister was chestnut as they'd bought some roasted ones - mine was where are those ****ing featherlites...