The Day Today:Bagpiping fact into news.
Take her off the monitor, I don't want to see her face.
Those are the headlines. Happy, now?
Fact me 'til I fart.
JAM
When dancing, lost in techo trance, arms flailing, gawky Bez, then find you snagged on frowns, and slowly it dawns, you're jazzing to the bleep tone of a life support machine that marks the steady fading of your day old baby daughter. And when midnight sirens lead to blue flash road mash, stretchers, covered heads and slippy red macadam, and find you creeping 'neath the blankets, to snuggle close a mangle bird, hoping you soon too will be freezer drawed. Then welcome. Mmm, ooh chemotherapy wig. Welcome. In Jam, Jam, Jam, Jam, Jaaaaaam
Nathan Barley
You should come, dollsnatch. It's gonna be total ****ing Mexico.
Well ignore this. This isn't... you know. Eh... tried to sort this out this morning, but the barber couldn't finish because I killed his cat.
Keep it foolish.
BRASS EYE
Your child could be splatted... by a roboplegic wrongcock
Can you imagine the fear of knowing that there's a gay man on board? You'd be thinking, "My God. Will I wake up and find everybody dead?
The Singapore solution : A *****phile has an implant the size of a cashew nut in his rectum. These devices are triggered by the sound of children's voices. "It" hears those voices . It expands to the size of a 42 inch colour television set. Bang! They fall to the ground shrieking and the children are safe
Why can we no longer think of the British Isles without the word "*****ph" in front of them
"Last one on drugs is a queer," shouts Portillo.
An overdose of heroin is fatal - in the short term. But there has been no research whatsoever into long term effects.
Cake is a made-up drug. It's not made from plants, it's made from chemicals...by...sick bastards.
genius!
Take her off the monitor, I don't want to see her face.
Those are the headlines. Happy, now?
Fact me 'til I fart.
JAM
When dancing, lost in techo trance, arms flailing, gawky Bez, then find you snagged on frowns, and slowly it dawns, you're jazzing to the bleep tone of a life support machine that marks the steady fading of your day old baby daughter. And when midnight sirens lead to blue flash road mash, stretchers, covered heads and slippy red macadam, and find you creeping 'neath the blankets, to snuggle close a mangle bird, hoping you soon too will be freezer drawed. Then welcome. Mmm, ooh chemotherapy wig. Welcome. In Jam, Jam, Jam, Jam, Jaaaaaam
Nathan Barley
You should come, dollsnatch. It's gonna be total ****ing Mexico.
Well ignore this. This isn't... you know. Eh... tried to sort this out this morning, but the barber couldn't finish because I killed his cat.
Keep it foolish.
BRASS EYE
Your child could be splatted... by a roboplegic wrongcock
Can you imagine the fear of knowing that there's a gay man on board? You'd be thinking, "My God. Will I wake up and find everybody dead?
The Singapore solution : A *****phile has an implant the size of a cashew nut in his rectum. These devices are triggered by the sound of children's voices. "It" hears those voices . It expands to the size of a 42 inch colour television set. Bang! They fall to the ground shrieking and the children are safe
Why can we no longer think of the British Isles without the word "*****ph" in front of them
"Last one on drugs is a queer," shouts Portillo.
An overdose of heroin is fatal - in the short term. But there has been no research whatsoever into long term effects.
Cake is a made-up drug. It's not made from plants, it's made from chemicals...by...sick bastards.
genius!
hello, hello , six in a row , six in a row