Match Day Thread Chelsea v Cardiff City, Premier League...Been Asleep Pals?

Take this you stinky Winkies!

The only thing worse than a man tooting is a woman doing it Winky!

This takes it to another level Wannky eh?

 

- I think I'll join the Barnsley board for a bit of cerebral exercise.

On the other hand, that clip could be an omen for the matchday thread - Chelsea relax and fart about, then we strike from behind?

 

No stress day tomorrow; anything other than a comfortable home win will be a complete bonus.

 

Can imagine that happening if I slept with Aber again!

 

Chelsea's Cesc Fabregas could make the bench but head coach Maurizio Sarri has hinted he might delay the Spaniard's return from a knee injury. Alan Hudson could make a start after a long layoff!

Fellow midfielder Ruben Loftus-Cheek is doubtful after picking up a shin injury on international duty with England.

Cardiff City's Josh Murphy and Aron Gunnarsson could feature after hamstring and knee injuries respectively but might not be risked.

Winger Nathaniel Mendez-Laing is a long-term absentee with a knee injury.

• Opta insight: Chelsea's changing style
• Premier League to test VAR at Saturday's 3pm kick-offs

Jonathan Pearce: A Welshman has already turned up the heat on Chelsea this week. Baker Jon Jenkins was richly praised for his Cardiff version of Chelsea buns on Great British Bake Off. He iced them with a Bluebirds' badge. Judge Prue Leith described Jon's buns as "nice and spongy".

Neil Warnock's defence will have to soak up Chelsea like a sponge in this. He's enduring his worst run as Cardiff boss - six games without a win.

Maurizio Sarri should become only the fourth manager to win his first five Premier League fixtures. There's a niggling doubt though.

Nine of Chelsea's expected line-up are back from exhausting international duty. Cardiff mostly stayed at home. It could be a factor unless the visitors try to play open football.

They'll get burned if they do. Unlike Jon's buns.

Chelsea head coach Maurizio Sarri: "My feeling is that we are not a very solid team in the defensive phase. We can improve and that's what I feel in training."

Cardiff City manager Neil Warnock: "The top sides always have a lot of possession so we're going to be under the cosh for a long time, but we've got to find a remedy. We've earned the right to play against teams like Chelsea.

"It'll be interesting to see how we cope at a packed Stamford Bridge. It's one where we've got to get the best out of what we've got. I don't want to go there and not have a shot on target, but we've got to have players at their best abilities to give them a game."

I'd expect Cardiff to be very competitive but Chelsea will have too much for them.

Prediction: 3-0

Lawro's full predictions v actor Mark Wahlberg

Head-to-head

• Chelsea have won 10 of the past 12 league meetings, including both previous Premier League fixtures in 2013-14.
• Cardiff have lost four successive visits to Chelsea in all competitions since a 1-0 victory in the second tier in April 1981. That is their only win in the last nine attempts at Stamford Bridge.
• Cardiff's most recent victory against Chelsea was by 2-1 at home in the League Cup third round in October 1986.

Chelsea

• The Blues have won their opening four Premier League games of a season for the sixth time, twice as often as any other side in the competition's history.
• They have begun a season with at least five successive top-flight victories on three occasions, most recently in 2010-11.
• Maurizio Sarri could become the fourth manager in Premier League history to win his first five fixtures in the division, emulating Carlo Ancelotti, Pep Guardiola and Craig Shakespeare.
• Chelsea's solitary defeat in the past 51 Premier League home games against newly-promoted opposition came against Bournemouth in December 2015 (W42, D8).
• The Blues lead the Premier League statistics this season for the most passes attempted (2,996) and completed (2,677).
• Pedro, who could make his 100th Premier League appearance in this match, has scored three goals in his last four league games - as many as in his previous 26 combined.

Cardiff City

• Cardiff's current winless run of six matches in all competitions is their worst under Neil Warnock, and the longest since an eight-match streak between January and February 2015.
• Warnock has drawn five and lost five of his last 10 Premier League fixtures - he has never endured 11 consecutive games without victory in this division.
• The Bluebirds have gone four Premier League away games without a win or a goal since beating Southampton 1-0 in April 2014.
• Victor Camarasa's goal in the 3-2 defeat by Arsenal last time out ended the team's run of six hours and 55 minutes without scoring in the league.

 

Alan Hudson!

Maybe Chopper Harris or Micky Droy or Charlie Cooke or even Kerry Dixon!!

 

Our goal difference could take a battering these next 2.

 

If the fixtures landed in a particular way, maybe four or five of the top six early on, your confidence could take an absolute hiding. We’ve had a pretty difficult opening six games, but it could have been worse...just!

Chelsea away, will we score one? Same home to MC Pal?

 

Quote:
Are you serious you silly old twat!!! You wont be saying that when he runs rings around the Man City, Man U, Spurs and Chelsea fullbacks

Thank Fug we’ve got this fella to look forward to against Chelsea!

 

Can't wait!!.....

Back on line now in my bolt hole in deepest Bucks - will try to tune in this afters if I can escape.

 

Sparks have a look on google for p2psports live match.

 

Thanks for that will.

I might get away with listening to it, but if I try watching it, I'd probably get my balls hung on the cottage fence like masky's...

 

City are unchanged

 

C’mon City just give it your best shot.

 

SOOOOLLLLL

 

wooohoooo.


BLOOOOOOOOOBIRDS

 

I'm dreaming

 

From the live ticker it sound like we're very much under the cosh.... as one would expect A point would be a remarkable result

 

Booooooooooooo!!!!

 

Boooooooooo!!!! (Again!)