On behalf of every Celtic fan worldwide, I'd like to thank you for Mr Mulgrew. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Why, you're very welcome. (I wish there was a "through gritted teeth and/or chewing lemons" emoticon.) I'm flicking between various news channels and the Pope's gig in St Peter's Square at the moment - he looks incredibly frail, all of a sudden, I had him down as being more robust in my head - and I think I just caught a glimpse of a goal scored by Charles Mulgrew yesterday, an arcing zinger from long-range. He was occasionally quite good for us, you know, but he was never that good. I'm both impressed and pained by his development and progress. He's also in that worryingly expanding category of "men with thighs I glancingly admire and know I shouldn't" and this fills me with an uneasy kind of dread. (Don't tell the Pope, for pity's sake.)
Correction: I don't think the particular goal I saw was scored by Mulgrew, it was scored by Hooper (and what a goal). I've just seen some limited highlights, though, and Mulgrew took both his goals really well and appears to have had an absolutely outstanding game, properly top-drawer. <traitor>
I agree with what you said about Hooper's thighs. And that wee cheeky smile he's got too. If only his IQ was in double figures, he'd be the perfect specimen
Lads. Lads. Please. Someone could get hurt. Aha. I can see why you might think I was talking about Hooper's thighs, but I was actually talking about Mulgrew's. In fairness, though, I could just as easily have been talking about Hooper. He's v. pretty and dreamy. He's a dunderhead, though, you say? A great shame. I've never once heard him speak - which is as it should be - so I'm not in a position to pass comment. As a very general rule, however, all sportsmen, actors and musicians should never - under any circumstances - speak publicly about anything. Ever. I lose track of the heroes I've lost in my lifetime as a result of accidentally hearing them speak. It just spoils everything and I really wish they'd stop. I have spoken. So shall it be. Amen.
I'll pay more attention to Mulgrew's pins the next time I see him I've heard Hooper being interviewed a few times and it's like the lights are on but nobody's home I believe even the full team have voted him the dunderheid of the team, but I think they're jealous of his boyish good looks and perfect smile. I remember the first time I heard Brad Pitt being interviewed by Oprah. I lost interest in him there and then. He's a dullard too
You watch Oprah? Oh Tina, Tina, Tina. You're just asking to be disappointed in other people. I'm not sure I've watched any form of chat show in over 15 years. It just makes me die inside. (I'm not sure you'll believe I'm being serious or not, but I really am.) Also, radio phone-ins. They crucify me. I just get so nervous and agitated waiting for members of the public to get their mangled sentences out straight that.....never mind. I find it excruciating, anyway, it leaves me desolate, although I'll very occasionally make myself suffer by listening in (to the Scottish football ones). As a by the by, but if I'm in the back of the car with the dog(s) - it happens - then my wife will intentionally find such programmes on the automobile wireless because she knows they really hurt me. She can listen to such things without even flinching or feeling the deepening pain of an all-enveloping hopelessness. It makes me mad, which merely encourages her to turn up the volume. I'm perfectly well prepared to believe that Brad Pitt is a dullard. Being a dullard, though, is probably a lesser crime than being (Hollywood) earnest, no? So help me Mary, but when actors go earnest and offer their views on the state of the world (or anything much at all) I'm left scrambling for the anti self-harm pills. Why can't they just be magnetically attractive and shut up? Why spoil it for the rest of us? See when you're wading your way through a favoured boxset? They've often got these "extras" in which the cast give their thoughts on their characters and/or the production. Never watch these things, Tina, because even the revered President Bartlett can seem like a drearily clanky klutz when you hear him talking without a script. And don't get me started on Sean Penn. Or Children in Need. Or....I'll stop. I'll be sure never to hear Hooper speak. It's for the best. This will allow me to wistfully speculate about his all-conquering man-gadget whilst being free of worry about the contents of his head. I hope you're having a beautiful day, Ms T. Bye then.
In my defence, the Oprah thing was years ago. I don't watch chat shows. Saying that, my Tivo box is programmed to record anything to do with Brad Pitt. The other day, I went to see why it had taped the Ellen De Generes show and guess who's fizzog popped up? Yes, Brad Pitt, trawling the streets in New Orleans, talking to the minions, boasting of how much he and his 'wife' have done for the city since their troubles. He's added to the Bono/Geldof list of tossers now. I still fancy the pants off Bono though, so I can still ogle Brad without feeling guilty. I like the idea of Hooper having an all-conquering man-gadget. That made me laugh out loud. 'C'mere doll and sook on ma all-conquering man-gadget', in an Essex accent of course. I hope you too are having a brill day. xx
Hooper has an Essex accent? That's a real shame, a deal-breaker. He's dead to me now. All British accents south of (and including) Birmingham should be banned or heavily modified by The Authorities. And you can probably throw Liverpool and Manchester accents into the proscribed list, as well, just to be safe. Beautiful. Make yourself seem like a credible (and hygienic) human being on the one hand.....and then cut the legs away from yourself in the very next breath. I'm a fan of these things. Is Brad Pitt married to Jennifer Aniston from Friends? I have a feeling that this may be the case, although quite how I came to possess such knowledge is something of a mystery. No matter, the thought of him prancing through New Orleans declaiming his own all-round goodness is enough to make me seriously consider stopping writing to the guy and asking him out on a date again. What a tool. One thing that really annoys me is multi millionaire slebs beseeching civilians to dig deep and donate to charity. Unless they are personally donating 50% of their own wealth, say - which would still leave them as multi millionaires, of course - I'm minded to doubt their sincerity.* How much can they really care, after all, if they continue to put their own comfort and excessive consumption before the cause they appear to be championing? (Sometimes I sound troublingly like a liberal lefty type. Galling.) I have no sensible response to the news that you find Bono attractive. I just don't know how this is even possible, Tina. This could be a massive issue between us. I mean....actually, I'll leave it. I'm hopeful that all right-minded humans will side with me on this one. Bono is utterly minging. Hang your (fevered) head in shame. Now Bryan Ferry, on the other hand...... Toot toot. *Bob Geldof is the exception to this rule. I generally find his convictions convincing.
