I’ve been peeling onions so that’s why but others are probably wimps and will cry
When Nikki died our world fell apart’ – Mum shares family’s thanks to Hull’s Dove House for care, compassion and precious time for a ‘proper goodbye’
Poignant recollections of 44-year-old mother-of-three and the hospice team who went above and beyond for her
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The family of mum-of-three Nikki, 44, have shared their poignant story to help Hull's Dove House Hospice (Image: dovehouse.org.uk)
A family has chosen to highlight the special moments Hull’s Dove House Hospice provided for a loved one, in support of the charity’s Christmas appeal.
Carol, mum of Nikki, has kindly shared the family story in the hope that the local community will dig deep to ensure every patient and their family at the hospice will have an extra special Christmas this year. Carol said: “Nikki was just 44 years old when she was given the devastating news that she had triple negative breast cancer.
“Only 15 per cent of breast cancer is triple negative, which means treatments such as hormone therapy are not suitable. It limited what was available for her.
“Two months later she was also diagnosed with Leptomeningeal disease which meant the growing cancer had spread from its original site in her body to her cerebrospinal fluid and leptomeninges, meaning the cancer was advanced and very aggressive. She was given just four to six weeks to live.
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“As a family we were in shock. We rallied and booked family trips to London and the Lake District so that we could all be together and make some last memories, especially for Nikki’s three young daughters.
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Supporting Dove House Hospice could make such a difference to patients and their families this Christmas(Image: dovehouse.org.uk)
“We had an amazing time but Nikki unfortunately had her first seizure while we were away and never made it home after that. Nikki had a stint in hospital and was then referred to Dove House. We were scared, but also felt it would be the right place for her.”
Nikki wanted to be able to do “normal things” but with four syringe drivers in place and a regular wheelchair unsafe for her to use, the hospice bought her a specialised wheelchair so that she was able to safely go out and about. “We were able to take her to the car boot sale, the hospice’s onsite charity shop and even a trip to Asda, which Nikki was really excited about,” said Carol.
“It might seem something really trivial but it was the normal things that we take for granted that she craved. We were able to enjoy little things like going out for gelato and one day we went for brunch, which one of the incredible doctors joined us for to make it possible for Nikki to go.
“Nikki could even join us for a family gathering at her sister’s home one last time which meant the world to us. They are memories that we are able to cherish now that she has gone.”
Her mum said: “There were so many precious times at Dove House it’s actually hard to put into words how much they meant to us all. Nikki was given relaxing baths, we had picnics in the gardens, fed the fish, had so many family meals together and very much treated the hospice like our home for the entire six weeks.
“Dove House became our home for as long as we needed it. The staff made us feel comfortable so that we were able to do that, we were even able to stay in the family suites upstairs, which gave us the peace of mind we needed to be able to take a little time for ourselves to recharge, knowing we could be back with Nikki in minutes.
“Sometimes the littlest of things can really mean the world to you. The catering team built such an amazing rapport with Nikki.
“They would run through such a big list of things they could offer and if she had said no to them all they learnt that she would always say yes to a cheese and tomato toastie or a giant slice of Arctic roll, which was her favourite.
The compassion they gave her will stay with us forever. Just like all of the care everyone gave her.
“Nikki’s dog Teddy was able to visit at the hospice too. We would come through the doors and he knew exactly where to go. He too had also come to feel like the hospice was like a home away from home.
“We had Nikki’s thumbprints made as keepsakes at the hospice, which was a really thoughtful gift - it is little things like that that mean so much and are priceless. But that was like everything they did for us, you could really tell that they were always thinking, ‘what would Nikki want and what would her family want?’
“When Nikki died our world fell apart even more than it already had, but Dove House was so respectful. They gave us time to say goodbye properly. We are slowly trying to piece our lives together, but in a world without Nikki here it feels very hard.
“We feel so privileged that she got to come to Dove House and that was how the end played out for us. We are extremely grateful that we made such wonderful memories at the hospice in her final weeks that we can hold onto as we grieve her.”
If you would like to donate to Dove House Hospice and gift moments that matter this Christmas for every patient and their family, visit
www.dovehouse.org.uk/christmasappeal, or contact the fundraising team by calling
01482 785743 or by emailing
[email protected]
