How do you start a parade in Sunderland? Roll 10p down the street How do you stop a parade in Sunderland? Drop job applications out of a plane
I actually pulled a Mackem lass many years ago. She invited me home to meet her mum and sister, it turned out they were the same person.
Apparently theres not much call for window cleaners in Sunderland as most are either smashed or licked to death...
Q: How do you stop a Newcastle fan drinking? A:Slam the toilet seat on their head. Q: What do Toon fans and laxatives have in common? A: Both irritate the absolute crap out of you. Q: What's the ideal weight for a Newcastle supporter? A: 3 pounds...that's including the Urn.
A mans body was found in the Tyne yesterday. He was dressed in a Sunderland shirt, mini-skirt, fishnets, suspender belt, high heels and a dildo rammed up his arse. Police have removed the shirt to save the family embarrassment. A Mackem fan walks into a pub with his dog just as the football scores come on the TV. The announcer says that Sunderland have lost 3-0 and the dog immediately rolls over on its back, sticks its paws in the air and plays dead. "That's amazing," says the barman, "what does he do when they win?" The Mackem Fan scratches his head for a couple of minutes and finally replies, "I dunno... I've only had the dog for eight months." The most popular car sticker in Sunderland: "A dog is for life, not just for the honeymoon" Tell tale signs your living to close to Sunderland: 1. Your spouse has a poster of Roy Keane smiling as a role model. 2. You let your 12 year old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. 3. You've been married 3 times and still have the same in laws. 4. The phrase "Thunderbirds are go!" reminds you the off licence has just opened. 5. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader. 6. One or more of your kids was born on a pool table. 7. One or more of your kids was conceived on a pool table. 8. You can't get married to your childhood sweetheart because of the current bestiality laws.
Q:What does a Newcastle fan do after his team has just beat real madrid in the champions league? A:Turn his playstation off and get into bed with his sister.
What's the difference between a North West Water lorry and Kevin Phillip's school teacher? One's a water tanker, the other's taught a ****er.
What's the definition of relative humidity? The sweat on a Mackems knackers when he's shagging his sister!
Shut it ya daft ****. Its from 2011. I bumped it to cheer them up, cos unlike you some can take a joke.
What's the difference between a Mackem and a bloke who refuses to go out when it's misty? One of them's a fog-ducker...
