"Black Friday"

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Aug 13, 2013
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The scenes on TV news right now are the funniest thing I have seen since Fawlty Towers.

It is like every toe rag, benefit claimant, immigrant and chav from the Blair Era onwards has come out of the woodwork today, and descended on the local Tescos to have a tug of war over a flat screen TV with a tenner discount <ok>

I really hope the likes of Ricky Gervais and David Walliams are studying the news footage, because the comic material on offer is immense.

I am currently watching two of the Weather Girls literally rolling on the floor in Tezzies, pulling at each end of a 50 inch screen. I haven't heard this many "innits" since Ali G was in his pomp.

One final thought...

How on earth did this fine bunch collectively manage to get time off work on Black Friday <whistle>
 
Do they know they have to pay for the goods at the tills tho? This is not Mark Duggan day.

Human rats scampering over television made by casio ...and polaroid!!! Polaroid FFs.... you get better picture quality on an etch a sketch.
 
Been a load of old tosh IMHO

Most websites crashing and some of the offers are not better than any other sales, at lot of teh TV's are HD ready meaning only 720p not 1080p

Blu Rays down to £4.99 wow Tescos have had a load reduced to this for ages on store month or so back was £29.99

I think a lot of it is smoke and mirrors put a few amazing offers and tons of stuff that has been reduced for a while what a Black Friday sticker on it people go potty
 
People go potty because they have no class, respect or their own money. They will be down cash converters tomorrow morning after realising that they have no need for a Vacuum cleaner or a treadmill.

The demographic on the TV is quite consistent.The sort that can only get our of bed at 1am to attend a riot or sale but cant get out of bed at 6am to get a job to earn money to buy things that are not worthless shat. I would personally put superglue on all the shat that Tescos is selling to these morons and let them walk around for 6 months with a teas made stuck to their grubby filthy little workshy hands.
 
When the Ikea at Edmonton opened there was mass brawling, pilfering, sexual assaulting and all other nefarious crimes. And for what? A £25 sofa.

Andy Love MP arrived to quell the rioting and promptly got a hot-dog in the mince pie. The Police helicopter and armoured units were no match for the rampant hordes and quickly backed off. The store was wrecked and unable to open for a further week.

There is footage on Youtube, but I witnessed it first-hand. My innocence left me that fateful night.
 
I just come back from Waitrose. It was like the first ten minutes of Saving Private Ryan. I had to walk pass an disabled guy with a trolley, and I am sure he tried to Ben Hur me. Anyway there must have been 20 or thirty people in the store and I was not gonna lose out to these roaches. I ran up to the delicatessen counter and nutted this elderly woman right in her dentures as I thought she was reaching for an Italian salami I've been after for months. This other elderly gentleman was taking the right piss and had a basket!!! a basket I ask you, full of bread and soup, so I kicked him square in the nuts and took two tins of minestrone soup and put them in my pocket. Fortunately, the cheese counter was empty but I still took a pound of gouda and 4 ounces of brie even though cheese gives me nitemares. At 12p of a ounce they are giving it away and I have to have it.

Three of the 12 tills were busy so I run up to the girl at till 7 and she rushed them through and I even gave her coupons I got out the guardian. Now that is how to Black Friday shop.

Its a dog eat dog world out there and I am like Reams's Spaniel when it comes to shopping.
 
Is this the first year the UK has really embraced Black Friday? I know Americans have always gone mad for it, and their are some hilarious compilations on YouTube, but this year we seem to be following the low standards of our western brothers.
 
Asda and Amazon have done it for three years now and Tesco for two - they are all Yank owned. But when Freddie's pie and eel shop in Aldgate had a sale on today you know that's its now epidemic. It just shows you how facked up materialistically we are as a nation.
 
Black Friday indeed. It was the day Christmas died.

No, I'm not a religious person going to talk piously about peace on earth and all that, but I do believe that Christmas stands for something decent in people and what we saw on Friday was an obscene, disgusting spectacle that stood for nothing but raw greed and opportunism, and was yet another abhorrent American import that we could well do without.

It may look funny in the eyes of some people and the puerile 'talents' of the likes of Walliams and Gervaise may very well be turned toward the subject for their equally puerile viewing public to snigger vapidly at. Yawn.

My fond hope is that the retail outlets involved will hang their heads in shame that they allowed such a thing to happen at all and abandon the whole wretched business in the future, but I fear that would be expecting too much. Rather, it is probable that their PR departments will say "Lessons will be learned", which is PR speak for trying to find ways of limiting the publicity damage next year without harming the event as a sales opportunity.

My solution would be for the police to declare all such events a public safety risk and order shops to take such drastic and expensive crowd safety measures that it becomes too expensive for the supermarkets to bother with, and the chavs who attend it to decide it's all too much bovver to get a poxy TV. For the retail outlets, the whole thing is about money so when it is no longer worth their while, they'll drop the whole fiasco and their 'clientele' (for want of a better word) will mooch off somewhere else.

And good riddance to bad rubbish, I say.
 
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