Bird blocks toilet with monster jobby

I had a tinder date a month or 2 back, but was smoking DMT the night before and was up until 8am watching Jones rob Brave Daniel Cormier.

Long story short, was so wired I went on the wrong date for about 15 minutes.

Makes me feel a bit better that I wasn't scooping my nutty loaf out of a toilet and throwing it at a window that doesn't open.

 

Haud the bus.

You're single again?
What went wrong wae Tracey-Ann?
Also is tinder allowed in Muslim land?

 

I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about but I suspect you're a poof so your opinion isn't important.

 

One option would have been for the burd to call the bloke in to admire such a fantastic log. "if I can get one that big out of me imagine how easily your cock would fit up my farter!" He'd have proposed to her on the spot.

 

In these situations, best thing to do is pour whipped cream on the chocolate log, put it in a cake box, and present the box to your intended love interest.

 

Or smear it on the walls if you're oirish

 

and there we have it folks, Tobes with the knockout blow yet again

 

Toby loading the old blunderbuss up with live ammo and taking aim at the bog dwellers as they cower behind the bodies of raped children here folks

 

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Potential conversation -


Mate ; " What the **** are you doing with a mental burd that fishes her **** out of the toilet and flicks it into your windows? "


Tinder guy ; " she's an amateur gymnast."

 

Was it an Odious Turd?

Clarifikashun rekwired.

 

Sounds like a big buoyant beauty of a Sanjeev Kholi

 

FFS lads, nae **** got any bad tinder stories?

 

Mindy has some quite traumatic Grinder stories to share.

 

No until you answer my questions above.

 

A good use for half a copy of the Daily Telegraph is to flush it down the lavatory to see if the flush is powerful enough. This was a standard test up until the 1970s. Now a synthetic sludge stimulant (fake poo) is used, which is a mixture of yeast, water, seed husks, peanut oil, miso paste and shredded tissue. It was developed by Unilever for their Domex Toilet Academy in India. It is hoped that they will install 24,000 flush lavatories in India for World Toilet Day 2015, because the country has a shortage of flush lavatories. In India 90% of the population have mobile phones, but only 50% have flush lavatories. One-third of the world's population has no access to a flush lavatory.

https://www.comedy.co.uk/tv/qi/episodes/12/15/

 

Aye.
Time.
Aye.

 

Now that she dumped you are you wanting to put any pics of your ex on the whatsapp group?

 

Amateur ****ing. Professionals do it on their date's sofa and have them clean it up.

 

Valid point