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best way to lose weight

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by thefanwithnoname, Jun 22, 2011.

  1. The General

    The General Member

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  2. Zico

    Zico Active Member

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    Beauty contest? <diva>

    Gurning?

    Have one day per week where you only eat apples and drink water.
    Eat fruit, cut out dairy, don't eat after 8pm. Cut down on meat, chips, potatoes, crisps and fast food.
    Exercise at least 3 times per week, cardio for at least 20 minutes in each of those times.
    Stop drinking fizzy drinks, drink water instead.
    Swimming.
    Have lots of sex.

    Good luck<ok>
     
    #22
  3. Flying Dutchman

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    You didn't talk about the side effects like itchy bums ...
     
    #23
  4. lone ranger

    lone ranger Active Member

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    do you reek of piss?
     
    #24
  5. Tina_old

    Tina_old Princess

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    You just drag your arse across the carpet like a dog. Problem solved<ok>
     
    #25
  6. RAVENBLACK

    RAVENBLACK Well-Known Member

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    #26
  7. Tina_old

    Tina_old Princess

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  8. MrT

    MrT Well-Known Member

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    do i reek of pish? after a good night out - yes. normally - no.

    ligaments are outside the bladder so it didn't affect pissing. ****ing 5s injury.
     
    #28
  9. Sweats

    Sweats Sure
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    Beat your missus senseless she will then leave you ... Then you will feel so sorry for yourself wallowing in self pity you'll lose your appetite an thusly lots of weight.. (other methods of making your missus leave are available)
     
    #29
  10. lone ranger

    lone ranger Active Member

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    ..... or you'll start to live on take away and become a lard bucket. either way, try knocking her about a bit, its good exercise and it'll make you feel like a man <ok>
     
    #30

  11. RAVENBLACK

    RAVENBLACK Well-Known Member

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    sound advice.
     
    #31
  12. thefanwithnoname

    thefanwithnoname Well-Known Member

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    lol (or lolzy for tina). some good suggestions
    its a mixed martial arts competition i am aiming for

    funnily enough it was an incident with this piece of **** that got me thinking. I was always fit and healthyish. alright at handling myself

    had some beef with this 20 odd year old and struggled, got the better of him in the end but the cosequences could have been bad. and i couldnt walk away
     
    #32
  13. lone ranger

    lone ranger Active Member

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    did you try speaking to him about what the real problem was? maybe he was just lonely.

    you heartless fiend
     
    #33
  14. monacoger

    monacoger POTY 2021

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    In other words he kicked the living **** out of you.
     
    #34
  15. thefanwithnoname

    thefanwithnoname Well-Known Member

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    it was some **** i lrt live in my other house. he moved out, left all his stuff there. needed him to move it even offered to help as he doesnt have a car. he said no will be done then ****ed off for 2 weeks.

    i basically had a go at him on phone and he was all mouthy, saw him in the street and ended up bitch slapping him. there was another guy with him who was trying to stop it. basically he sneaked one in

    he runs when he sees me now,
     
    #35
  16. MrT

    MrT Well-Known Member

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    that's cos he knows that a fat bloater won't catch him.
     
    #36
  17. thefanwithnoname

    thefanwithnoname Well-Known Member

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    the sad thing is its true

    i had a reputation for standing my ground as a kid when it came to fighting

    truth is i was a chubby kid and couldnt run

    it had occurred to me early on that if i tried to run they would easily catch me and batter me anyway AND i'd be knackered
    easier to stay and at least get a few punches in

    kids thought i was tough lol and left me alone

    genius or what?
     
    #37
  18. monacoger

    monacoger POTY 2021

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    But now they know you are a soft touch.
     
    #38
  19. SFCbwSFC

    SFCbwSFC Member

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    Lose weight by eating tiny amounts of food each day
     
    #39

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