Beefy's Corner.......For all off Topic threads

We are almost there. All we need now is:

Secretary of State for Work and Pensions.

Whilst seeking to fill that post our new incuments need to be thinking of the very first peice of legislation they will seek to push through Parliament.

 

As Lord Chancellor of this board, I propose a stickied "Supreme Court" thread where we take annoying posters and trolls to trial and come to an agreement on whether they should be banned. Mr. Nice, as our other student of law, should be appointed Justice of the Supreme Court.

 

I'll do Work and Pensions then Godders. I will make the lot of the working person better, and bring in a bill so that people can retire at 55 if they wish. This will free up posts and reduce youth and graduate unemployment. Pensions will include a free season ticket to the football club of your choice.

 

That all sounds a little too democratic to me. Trials are expensive and we are skint. Why not just toss a coin? Heads they are guilty tails they are not. The innocent then go free and as we can't afford prisons so do the guilty.

I never knew running a country would be this easy.

 

Position where it's easy to abuse my power? Sounds good to me.

 

A mini shuffle has taken place. Chilko Saint is now the Secretary of State for Work and Pansions due to his innovative suggestions on how to improve the pensioners' lot and reduce unemployment in our young people.

The post of Secretary of State for Wales is now vacant but we shan't bother to fill it. The Welsh wont even notice and we can save some money.

 

Thanks Godders. There is always Cardiff Saint, but it's probably best just to give the Welsh independence.

 

Actually PL, can you ride a motorbike, 'cause I'd love your role, being an environmentally sensitive person..?

I would look into the feasibility of installing every household with a photovoltaic array and put huge research into the current development of energy efficient technologies, such as Cold Fusion, and Over Unity Motors [yes, I know, not possible - but Einstein and ZPE Energy says it is]. I would also progress the current wind turbine development, add proper 99.999% efficient pollution filters [yes, they do exist, but Britain doesn't know about them - Germany and the USA do, and fund them] to current coal powered station chimneys.

And finally, I would steer the UK economy away from the current petrol-chemical environment towards a leaner, greener future. We'd be in the vanguard, as the UK has so often been in the past, leading the world away from jobs being scattered across the country, but mainly being at home, where everyone is at their most efficient. Yes, there would a need for some to go to work. They would be in the minority. Adequate transports links would be available via motorbike and whatever my cabinet colleague [PL] would envisage.

 

I'd make people wear thicker jumpers.

 

I'm new to this running the country malarky but I have made a blunder. I should have said Her Majesty Queen Fran and not HRH.

I hope she gets on well with Jose Fonte Baby only I undestand the last Queen didn't think much of Cameron (apparently he is none too bright) nor did she like Brown (too arrogant) and she thought Blair was too full of himself. I would have loved to have been present when she met with Thatcher.

 

While I am passionate about renewable energy and mitigating climate change..... I do have quite a few ideas for the transport of this country, although none involve motorbikes.

 

Do they involve skates? Sorry Lapras couldn't resist

 

Does it involve Lapras? That would be sweet if everyone rode around on Pokemon.

 

Well, since you asked, I shall answer. Basically, my idea is based on focusing on public transport. Here's my 5-year plan.

1) Massively shake up the bus system, bus routes as they stand at the moment are a bit rubbish outside of the big cities therefore as part of my plan, bus routes will be modified to ensure that they go more than just one or two towns but you can actually travel more than a few miles distance with them but make medium-distance journies (at a county level, for example, services running from north Hampshire to south Hampshire). There shall be a focus on bus routes complementing existing train routes. For example, providing transport to areas lacking train connections and also, providing routes between places which, despite being close, take a long time to get to due to having to change. For example, Camberley and Farnborough. There are some buses that do this, but this should be given greater focus.

2) Invest in mag-level technology for the UK's principle train routes: East Coast Mainline, West Coast Mainline, Great Western Line, Liverpool Street to Norwich and Waterloo to Poole (via Portsmouth and Southampton).

3) Construction of a new high-speed orbital railway line (HighSpeed3) from Canterbury to Southend (also mag-lev), stopping at (this isn't an exhaustive list): Tunbridge Wells, Crawley, Woking, Reading, Wycombe, Luton, Harlow, Chelmsford and Southend. This means if you want to travel to neighbouring counties (e.g. from Hampshire to Sussex or Kent to Hampshire) without having to go into London, reducing congestion in London, reducing travel times and reducing the cost of tickets for the passenger.

4) Forcing rail companies to reduce railway fares and provide hefty fines for companies that fail to provide good customer service *cough* first great western *cough*

5) Running much later trains from London mainline stations and other hub stations (e.g. Reading), the last train on a weekend should be about 3:30am, not 1:15am (or 12:29am in Reading).

6) The London Underground should be 24 hour a day. My understanding is that an argument against this is the noise pollution for houses near tracks, therefore this would only apply to services which are tunnel bound: so the entire Victoria Line, Bakerloo Line from Elephant and Castle to Maida Vale or wherever it comes out of the tunnel. Of course, services would become less regular: roughly one service every 20 minutes between 12:30 (or whenever it stops running now) and 1:30, every 30 minutes between 1:30 and 3:30 and every 40 minutes between 3:30 and 6:30.

.....

Though everyone riding Pokemon would be cool.

 

Yeah I'm using the months free trail. I've watched all of 15 Stories High, Archer, two and a half seasons of Sons of Anarchy, and I've just started Breaking Bad. Do I now cancel my Virgin subscription? It seems almost obsolete, but the broadband is pretty good.

 

can i ban that twat, trixter?

 

Now, now, we must give him a fair trial.

Trial in progress.....

Verdict: Lifetime ban.

The system works!

 

Justice of the Supreme Court overrules. Trixter is free to go.

 

So who's going to be first to get accused of calling a police women a pleb?, only for it to be lies by the police yet again.

 

Trouble is he doesn't