Off Topic Babies on planes

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Star of David Bardsley

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Mar 27, 2011
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Just don't do it. The kid doesn't need to go anywhere that requires being shot through the sky at 300mph in an aluminium can.

Until it's old enough just to chill with a book or iPad, don't take it on a ****ing plane. Go to Cornwall or something.

Other gripes: Fat English birds pissed up abroad (attractive ones are fine), English people shouting loudly and slowly in English at foreigners, foreigners in Chelsea shirts out shopping while they're winning the league.
 
Just don't do it. The kid doesn't need to go anywhere that requires being shot through the sky at 300mph in an aluminium can.

Until it's old enough just to chill with a book or iPad, don't take it on a ****ing plane. Go to Cornwall or something.

Other gripes: Fat English birds pissed up abroad (attractive ones are fine), English people shouting loudly and slowly in English at foreigners, foreigners in Chelsea shirts out shopping while they're winning the league.
Did you enjoy holiday Watford?
 
Just don't do it. The kid doesn't need to go anywhere that requires being shot through the sky at 300mph in an aluminium can.

Until it's old enough just to chill with a book or iPad, don't take it on a ****ing plane. Go to Cornwall or something.

Other gripes: Fat English birds pissed up abroad (attractive ones are fine), English people shouting loudly and slowly in English at foreigners, foreigners in Chelsea shirts out shopping while they're winning the league.

Just wait until the in-flight air conditioning breaks down, and there's a nappy-change in the seat next to you...
 
Just don't do it. The kid doesn't need to go anywhere that requires being shot through the sky at 300mph in an aluminium can.

Until it's old enough just to chill with a book or iPad, don't take it on a ****ing plane. Go to Cornwall or something.

Other gripes: Fat English birds pissed up abroad (attractive ones are fine), English people shouting loudly and slowly in English at foreigners, foreigners in Chelsea shirts out shopping while they're winning the league.
Just wait until you are desperate to get out of cold, damp West Windsor to somewhere warm with your adorable 13 month old..........
 
Think babies strapped into British Airways cots after take off, with unfed snakes roving about the cabin - see the potential for a Tarantino movie?
Sounds terrifying. I assume Michael Madson might make a cameo in a bonnet as a wailing toddler... :-/
 
I am taking a 14 month old on his first plane this weekend, any tips? (Other than "don't" Watford).
 
I am taking a 14 month old on his first plane this weekend, any tips? (Other than "don't" Watford).
Take some ear plugs so you can't hear his crying or the exaggerated sighing and tutting of fellow passengers.

More seriously, encourage him to burp/ wind him a lot to help clear the air pressure in his ears, which can get very painful. And take him on board knackered, so he'll yell a bit at the start then fall asleep, hopefully for the duration.
 
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Some youngsters love flying, others hate it, you won't know for sure until it's too late to do anything about it.

I once spent the best part of an eleven hour flight carrying a one year old and a two year old up and down the aisles, all three of us screaming at the top of our lungs. Memorable.
 
Some youngsters love flying, others hate it, you won't know for sure until it's too late to do anything about it.

I once spent the best part of an eleven hour flight carrying a one year old and a two year old up and down the aisles, all three of us screaming at the top of our lungs. Memorable.
Their parents must have been very thankful you took them!
 
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