Assem Allam for a day

I'd buy the f**king Snooker Club, convert it into a Slovenian brothel and erect a solid gold statue of Adam Pearson and his sidekick Nick Barmby outside it..

what do you think of that eh?

Well I don't care what you think, you have no right to question my decisions, look at my CV, I've worked at Hornsea Pottery..

 

Place an ad in the Financial Times ?? Football club for sale, lots of potential but I can't be arsed to run it properly

 

1) Apologise humbly and sincerely to the employees and supporters of Hull City for slandering their 110-year old respected name and attempting to abolish our club.

2) Apologise to the FA and the media for arrogant eccentric behaviour unworthy of a custodian of a 110 year old football club, recognising the offence and anger caused by my petulance.

3) Announce sponsorship of HCFC next season by Allam Marine to the tune of £80 million (or whatever our current debt is to him) so that we get out of his clutches.

4) Announce a joint non-profit making venture with Hull City Council to develop the area around the ground into a world class sports science centre attracting the planet's elite coaches and thinkers.

5) Announce all standing areas behind the goals, halve admission prices, revamp the club's marketing and PR strategy.

6) Completely rethink my whole disastrous attempt at running a football club, recognising the crass misapprehension that it is a 'business'.

 

Sell the club to some rich billionaire for nothing and then **** off.

 

He might be worse..like a Glazer type.

Living at the whim of some mega-rich turd is not the way to go.

Stability and being well-run is what's important.

We can't afford another loon like the current one.

 

I'm not sure how many could be worse than AA.

 

I'd write a new will, leaving the club to the fans, then i'd kill myself and my family.

 

I'd leave the club in the hands of Hosni Mubarak for a more transparent future.

Seriously.

 

I'd demand to change the name

ban all flags, and put every ctwd attendee on a final warning, any wrong move and its a 5 year ban
my first interview would have the headline "so you thought I was a dictator before?"

id change the kit colours, wolves aint a good luck

probably red and white
and my face as the shirt sponsors
and build a new stadium near swine

then declare myself bankrupt and go live in the maldives

 

Out of order.

 

That'd be interesting, identifying/agreeing on city's most loyal 1,000. That's worth a thread all on its own.

 

I'd **** in a sock and crack myself about the chops with it

 

Well one for thing's for sure - the club won't ****ing know.

 

Absolutely brilliant

 

He could buy Hull FC for £125.

 

Very, very, poor taste.

 

How date you write something so viscous as that! You are a disgrace on our club Kempton Kebab.

Apologise right now!

 

very, very poor taste

how about

on the stake, with thousands and thousands of fire ants

 

Oh go on then, i apologise unreservedly. He can die when he wants

 

Change the name of the stadium to The Assem Marine Bowl and ban all fans under the age of 60.