Arguments.

You can try, but I doubt it

 

I'm not sure this is the right place for advice and sympathy !

 

I suppose he could start off with a simple...

'I'm sorry'

'what for?'

'eh?'

you said you're sorry?'

'Yes, I did'

'what for?'

'why you keep saying that?'

'saying what?'

'what for?'

'It's alright I've already spoken to a solicitor'

'what for?'

'now you're saying it!'

 

^^This.

 

I don't want to put too much but the nub is she was a different religion, after we got to know each other she wanted to get married asap basically as this was a requirement, I proposed so we were engaged, I wasn't really religious when we met but would have to convert and was trying to be alright with doing that, there had been other difficulties related to her religious beliefs, accusations at me of things I'd been doing wrong in her eyes which I managed to look past and try with, she gave me silent treatment quite a few times throughout the time, told me at one point she didn't want to get married to me anymore after an argument, despite all that when I decided to walk two months ago she was telling me for near two weeks how she's certain I'm the only person she ever wants to be with, love of her life all that kind of stuff. I could've acted better at times for sure but I didn't do anything seriously wrong in my eyes, apart from this and questioning things once before, but I'd started to feel like it was always me who was wrong about anything, that she thought she couldn't put a foot wrong, surely most things are 50/50

 

This is like an episode of Jeremy Kyle

 

Imagine how many times she's been nailed over the last 2 months, that should put you off the idea.

 

Take out the religion mate and that is a familiar theme for a lot !
Her indoors is on reduced days which means to much time together .
Yesterday she said she preffed it when I'm not in .
So I thought sod it and got on my bike and went to work early .
I left early so thought blow it I will text my mate and meet him in a beer garden so I had a couple of hours out .
Then she got mad coz i should have gone home instead to the house that she prefers to be in when I'm not in it .
.
You see mate you just cant win

 

It's a difficult one, two months is a hell of a long time for silence. I suppose the simplest thing is to ask, 'can we talk?'

You know her better than anyone on here, so how you choose the time and moment to do that is down to you.

If you think a 'sorry' is appropriate somewhere in that conversation, than no harm in saying it, but you have to mean it unconditionally - Your thoughts of her 'couldn't put a foot wrong' can't really be a condition of that.

You either want to make it work or you don't, the longer you go round in circles of 'she said,' blah, blah, the worse it gets, then carries into history, for the next time.

It sounds like there is some big differences here around religion. It seems you are the one agreeing to the changes as part of your relationship, you either want that or you don't.

btw I'm not saying it should be all give on your part, but I don't know your partner, so I can't advise on her partake in this convo.

If you still feel afterwards, 'it was always me who was wrong about anything' - then the future don't bode well.

Just saying it as it is soz about that.

 

Thanks Graham

 

It is now you've turned up

 

^^^^^^^^
TART !

 

I daren't even ask him about these agreements in changes of religion. Sounds like a pandora box opening up.

 

I called her over the weekend. She answered and we spoke for almost an hour. I did apologise and all that, she heard me out but just said she's obviously had two months to think about things in the relationship and now she needs time to think and do the best thing for her. I followed it up with one email and said both times just let me know whatever she decides, so will leave it well alone now. I know what you're saying mate about having to let go of whatever entrenched position is there and just try to focus on the now in any future communication

 

It sounds like its subservience to the religious request or it ain't gonna work !
It wouldn't be for me that's for sure !

 

Sorry to read this mate, never realised you were already living apart. Suppose you just have to give her time. Maybe now restaurants are opened back up, ask if she fancies going for a meal - A quiet spot, that will give you both more opportunity to speak, to see where you are at in this relationship.

Good luck fella

 

If it’s empathy - or sympathy - you want , you might not have come to the right place.


Just a hunch

 

@brb

Mate somebodies hacked your account

 

In other words, God’s on her side.


Soz mate, you’re completely ****ed