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Anyone ever fear...

Discussion in 'The Premier League' started by Milk not bear jizz, Apr 22, 2019.

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  1. Dier Hard

    Dier Hard G'day mate!

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    If an 18 year old lad knocked at my door and said he was my son, it means I must’ve got drunk at 11 years old and gave a girl the best 30 seconds of her life.
     
    #21
    Dier Hard, Apr 22, 2019
    The Ginger Marks likes this.
  2. Big Ern

    Big Ern Lord, Master, Guru & Emperor

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    It would just be another possible lending stream.
     
    #22
    Big Ern, Apr 22, 2019
  3. FosseFilberto

    FosseFilberto Pizzeria Superiore and some ...
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    Probably fathered half you ****ers ... depends whether your mum's were hot ...
     
    #23
    FosseFilberto, Apr 22, 2019
  4. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    read first 2 lines.
     
    #24
    Commachio, Apr 22, 2019
  5. Milk not bear jizz

    Milk not bear jizz Grasser-In-Chief

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    Very good. <ok>
     
    #25
    Milk not bear jizz, Apr 23, 2019
    Lovearsenalcock likes this.
  6. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    what was the rest about?

    cos the first 2 lines bored me, then i just saw a wall of text.
     
    #26
    Commachio, Apr 23, 2019
  7. Skylarker

    Skylarker PL High Commissioner

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    It actually happened to me... no bullshit. I don't particularly want to go into details in case he's reading. He's in his 20's now though.
     
    #27
    Skylarker, Apr 23, 2019
    Milk not bear jizz, Libby and Lovearsenalcock like this.
  8. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    what did?
     
    #28
    Commachio, Apr 23, 2019
  9. Skylarker

    Skylarker PL High Commissioner

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    Had a kid and didn't know...
     
    #29
    Skylarker, Apr 23, 2019
  10. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    I'm the worlds worst parent mate.

    I lost my first 2 due to to the whore and lying. Now i just have the little one in Thailand, who i speak to most days...

    And no, i don't speak to the mum anymore, she can die.

    Everything gets ****ed up/
     
    #30
    Commachio, Apr 23, 2019
    Sharpe* and Lovearsenalcock like this.

  11. Bwood_Ranger

    Bwood_Ranger 2023 Funniest Poster

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    The ****? How old are you?
     
    #31
    Bwood_Ranger, Apr 23, 2019
  12. Skylarker

    Skylarker PL High Commissioner

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    40 on Sunday
     
    #32
    Skylarker, Apr 23, 2019
  13. Bwood_Ranger

    Bwood_Ranger 2023 Funniest Poster

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    ****. Lager and shagging is clearly the key to eternal youth.
     
    #33
    Bwood_Ranger, Apr 23, 2019
    Milk not bear jizz and Skylarker like this.
  14. Chief

    Chief Northern Simpleton
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    Bet he works in a garden centre or something?
     
    #34
    Chief, Apr 23, 2019
    Milk not bear jizz and Tobes like this.
  15. Skylarker

    Skylarker PL High Commissioner

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    Everyone I tell my age thinks I'm about 10 years younger, not bad going... and **** knows how it's happened <laugh>

    I was extremely young when this woman had this child though, she was in her 20's. Sick bitch.
     
    #35
    Skylarker, Apr 23, 2019
  16. Skylarker

    Skylarker PL High Commissioner

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    No, he owns a landscape firm.
     
    #36
    Skylarker, Apr 23, 2019
  17. Treble

    Treble Keyser Söze

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    I really thought you were joking, and it was about Matth <laugh>
     
    #37
    Treble, Apr 23, 2019
    Skylarker likes this.
  18. Skylarker

    Skylarker PL High Commissioner

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    When I read it back I knew people would think that <laugh>
     
    #38
    Skylarker, Apr 23, 2019
    Libby and Treble like this.
  19. Chief

    Chief Northern Simpleton
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    <laugh> Similar!

    I honestly thought you were joking and suggesting Matth was your son, which no one else had got.

    As you were.
     
    #39
    Chief, Apr 23, 2019
    Skylarker likes this.
  20. Chief

    Chief Northern Simpleton
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    Well, apart from Treble, who thought the same!
     
    #40
    Chief, Apr 23, 2019
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