Married twice.......first time 12 years and the second 16 years. Spent 14 years just with the kids after all this sh*t. Best 14 years of my life. If your not happy live, learn and move on. As for the cost........freedom comes at a price.
On wife No3. 1st was a psycho!! Moved out less than a year after the wedding. Met and wedded No2 (mother of my kids) not long after. She was a good mother but not such a good wife (tho I may not be blameless). She admitted an affair and that was it (eventually). Then had a “Bidey-In” for a number of years who was great in the sack but too much baggage for marriage!! So I’m now on No3 who is the dogs bollocks but takes no pish either. Love her to bits and it’s deffo forever even tho she’s a bit older than me. My advice - if your splitting, get the best lawyer, get a legal separation date ASAP, and get the whole thing into court ASAP. It’ll save you a fortune in the long run. Believe me I learnt the fecking hard way!! Bart
I wasn't implying it was mate. I didn't mean any offence. My comment was more a reflection of the fact that I feel that I was strung along by someone whose intentions weren't what they said they were. And that that person still has too much control over my life.
Done it twice, 1st time I was too soft and let her keep everything, 2nd time I was better prepared, as soon as it started to crack, I set myself a 12 month target, and started to get ready for it. Moved money into a separate account, sorted out somewhere to live, dropped some gentle hints to my kids which helped enormously when it came to the split, then just waited. After yet another round of rows and arguments, I just took the kids out, told them what I was doing, then never went back. Best thing I ever did. Kids were fantastic, and ended up living more at my place than hers. Like somebody else said, make yourself happy, don't flog a dead horse.
Never got married like thankfully but the best thing I did but it depends how bad it is. Make sure you get things right for the kids - that’s harmful abd it’s tough financially. Life’s too short to be unhappy so gauge which one we’ll make you happy. Grass isn’t always greener but sometimes it is.
No worries mate, no offense taken, didn't mean for it to come across like I had (taken offense). I'm lucky in that my ex didn't ask for things she would have been entitled to under french law, because she didn't think it was right to do so. If she had, the situation would have been a lot different
Oh yeah, don't get me wrong, there are things that could have been a lot worse about my situation. The one thing I've realised is that everyone has it different and what seems to be easily sorted for one person is a nightmare for someone else.
Got divorced after 20 years after I found she was having an affair, I stayed around until my youngest was of school leaving age then I left. I was never going to have another bloke having any influence on my kids, they would always come home to their dad. After a while I started working abroad and ended up here in Abu Dhabi where the last thing I was looking for was a wife, I was enjoying a single guys life and believe me lads, this is place to do that....but fate has a way of proving you wrong and met what is now the current Mrs Flanders and i'm happy as pigs in s hit.
Speaking from personal experience, my mother and father split when she had an affair, I was about 15 and my little sister 10 or 11. I went through awful anxiety and depression in my late teens and my sister has been nothing but a nightmare ever since, she has turned out not to be a very nice person at all. Now that is probably an extreme example but it is an example of what can happen. My parents hadn’t been happy for years and it was a very toxic household at times. I would still say I had a happy childhood but part of me wishes they had split up years earlier.
