Animal Farm part 2

Happy Friday everyone

 

People don't want Pete or Dull back but still want to call them nasty names?

 

Good grief

That’s unbelievably arrogant. So the U.K. votes to leave the EU, Brexitards decide that should also mean leaving the SM & CU, but they fail to have a plan that squares the circle of doing that and maintaining the International Treaty that is the GFA.

Your answer, make Ireland leave the EU against their wishes or stick a border up as it’s somehow become their issue and not ours.

WTO rules state we have to maintain the integrity of our own market, so you’re wrong again I’m afraid.

 

The Wetherspoons customer’s guide to a no-deal Brexit

ARE you a pants-wetting Remoaner who’s worried about no-deal Brexit? Here Wetherspoons regular Norman Steele answers your questions at 10am with a pint.

Should I be worried about food shortages?

**** off. We’ll grow our own food. All you need is soil and seeds, and male animals and lady animals. I wish Remoaners would stop overcomplicating things.

If there’s a short-term problem – which there won’t be – we can always do a Dunkirk and get our brave ‘little ships’ to go to a supermarket in Calais. I’m getting choked up just thinking about it.

Could there be civil unrest?

There will be if May’s traitor’s deal goes through. Me, Brian and Dave have agreed to make petrol bombs and do a riot. This is in no way bullshit pisshead bravado caused by 11 pints in Spoons.

Are we heading for an economic disaster? It certainly looks like it.

Project Fear 3.0, mate. Sony may be ****ing off but we’ll just make better tellies. They’ll probably be totally interactive so you can shag Keeley Hawes in Bodyguard.

Should I start stockpiling medicines I need?

Nah. We’re a plucky, ‘can do’ nation. Make your own medicines from whatever you’ve got in the house. A few aspirins here, a bit of Benylin there. If you’re still feeling peaky have a few pints in Spoons.

In any case, we survived the war. Missing a few heart attack pills is nothing to this bulldog race who laughed in the face of U-boat attacks.

Why do you keep irrelevantly and offensively mentioning the war?

Because it’s the finest moment in our proud island history. Also I don’t know any other history because the kings-and-queens rubbish on History channel hasn’t got tanks or the SS.

No, seriously, what if I lose my job?

What’s the problem? More time to spend in Spoons.

 

Excellent

 

The foreigner’s guide to what the f**k has happened to Britain

FOREIGN? Then you’re probably wondering why the mother of parliaments is collapsing like an Albanian pyramid scheme. We try to explain:

Who is leader of the UK?

In theory, it’s Boris Johnson, who you can tell apart from other politicians because he looks like a child transforming into his evil self in front of a funhouse mirror. In practice, it appears to be Dominic Cummings, a shadowy political strategist hoping to play Jafar in a regional tour of Aladdin.

Who is the opposition?

Technically it’s Jeremy Corbyn, but he is so far below anyone’s radar that many think him just an unsettling dream. In opposition to the Conservative Party are the slightly less mad bits of the Conservative party. Eastern Europeans from one-party states may remember the kind of thing.

Is there going to be an election?

As things stand British politics is so flamboyantly corrupt it is almost Italian, and Britons wouldn’t be surprised if Boris Johnson turned Westminster into his own personal Bunga-Bunga palace for a Channel 5 reality series. But probably.

Are you ever going to do Brexit?

It is beginning to feel like Brexit cannot be done. But they said that about colonising Mars, which also cannot be done.

Should I be glad I don’t live there?

Yes.

 

Named changed, wonder if Matth will buy the box set

 

Nope

https://www.irishtimes.com/news/ire...eu-or-uk-to-erect-hard-irish-border-1.3710136

 

The key bit you’re missing there is unless they receive a complaint from another member state.

Odds on that 100%

 

**** sake.

Is this now the politics thread or just the next poll on Fat Pete and Brian in a neverending run of polls until they win one?

 

Yeah it would only look into it if another WTO member complained, doesnt say they would insist on a hard border if someone complained.

 

You probably should have read more than the headline of the article you posted to supposedly prove me wrong.

What does require you to protect your border is protecting the integrity of your single market; it needs to be preserved. Ireland would be required by EU law to do so and it is in Ireland’s interests to do that. Ultimately, it is about protecting jobs.”

Oops.

 

Ideally, yes.

It’s what Mugabe would have wanted.

 

Which they will, and our schedules will be refused.

Brexitards need to simply face the reality of this issue, stop bullshitting about solutions that haven’t been invented yet or trying to make out it either doesn’t matter or it’s somehow someone else’s problem.

 

Exactly Ireland, Ireland, Ireland. no mention of the UK in that sentence.

 

The same applies to us under WTO rules, maintaining the integrity of our market ffs.

You can’t do that without a border if there’s not regulatory alignment on either side of it.

 

The Brexit Party that currently has zero MPs? Formerly known as UKIP, which in it's entire history has had a total of, erm, zero MPs? Okay. Maybe bring the Sensible Party in as well?

 

Opposed to the Labour party who were once socialist?

 

Erm...no.

They are completely separate. UKIP is still around mate though with very little support these days.

The Brexit Party has zero MP's because it is about 5 months old. and there hasnt been a GE since the party was formed, so they havent had any opportunity to get any seats yet.
The Brexit party was formed by a former UKIP member (Farage) but they are separate parties.