Thinking about those people of a certain age suffering with the themopause.
Off Topic And Now for Something Completely Different
- Thread starter Dr.Stanley O'Google, HCFC
- Start date
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Thinking about those people of a certain age suffering with the themopause.
It's really quite a themtal PC concept is it not?
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https://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/football/64782551
Besiktas supporters threw thousands of soft toys on to the pitch during the match against Antalyaspor to donate to children affected by the earthquakes.
The match was paused after four minutes 17 seconds, representing the time the first earthquake struck Turkey and Syria at 04:17 on 6 February.
The fans then began throwing the toys, which will be given to children in Turkey and Syria, from the stands.
A rabbit walks into a pub and says to the barman:
‘Can I have a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie?’
The barman is amazed, but gives the rabbit a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie. The rabbit drinks the beer and eats the toastie. He then leaves.
The following night the rabbit returns and again asks for a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie.
The barman, now intrigued by the rabbit and the extra drinkers in the pub, (because word gets round), gives the rabbit the pint and the
toastie. The rabbit consumes them and leaves.
The next night, the pub is packed. In walks the rabbit and says, ‘A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman.’
The crowd is hushed as the barman gives the rabbit his pint and toastie, and then burst into applause as the rabbit wolfs them down.
The next night there is standing room only in the pub. Coaches have been laid on for the crowds of patrons attending. The barman is making more money in one week than he did all last year. In walks the rabbit and says, ‘A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman’.
The barman says, ‘I’m sorry rabbit, old mate, old mucker, but we are right out of them Ham and Cheese Toasties..’.
The rabbit looks aghast.
The crowd has quietened to almost a whisper, when the barman clears his throat nervously and says, ‘We do have a very nice Cheese and Onion Toastie.’
The rabbit looks him in the eye and says, ‘Are you sure I will like it?’
The masses’ bated breath is ear shatteringly silent.
The barman, with a roguish smile says, ‘Do you think that I would let down one of my best friends. I know you’ll
love it.’
‘Ok’, says the rabbit, ‘I’ll have a pint of beer and a Cheese and Onion Toastie.’
The pub erupts with glee as the rabbit quaffs the beer and guzzles the toastie. He then waves to the crowd and leaves….
NEVER TO RETURN!!!!!!
One year later, in the now impoverished public house, the barman, (who has only served 4 drinks tonight, 3 of which were his), calls time. When he is cleaning down the now empty bar, he sees a small white form, floating above the bar.
The barman says, ‘Who are you?’, to which he is answered, ‘I am the ghost of the rabbit that used to frequent your public house.’
The barman says, ‘I remember you. You made me famous. You would come in every night and have a pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie. Masses came to see you and this place was famous.’
The rabbit says, ‘Yes I know.’
The barman said, ‘I remember, on your last night we didn’t have any Ham and Cheese Toasties. You had a Cheese and Onion one instead.’
The rabbit said, ‘Yes, you promised me that I would love it.’
The barman said, ‘You never came back, what happened?’
I DIED’, said the rabbit.
‘NO!’ said the barman. ‘What from?’
After a short pause. The rabbit said…
.
.
.
‘Mixin-me-toasties.’
‘Can I have a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie?’
The barman is amazed, but gives the rabbit a pint of beer and a ham and cheese toastie. The rabbit drinks the beer and eats the toastie. He then leaves.
The following night the rabbit returns and again asks for a pint of beer, and a Ham and Cheese Toastie.
The barman, now intrigued by the rabbit and the extra drinkers in the pub, (because word gets round), gives the rabbit the pint and the
toastie. The rabbit consumes them and leaves.
The next night, the pub is packed. In walks the rabbit and says, ‘A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman.’
The crowd is hushed as the barman gives the rabbit his pint and toastie, and then burst into applause as the rabbit wolfs them down.
The next night there is standing room only in the pub. Coaches have been laid on for the crowds of patrons attending. The barman is making more money in one week than he did all last year. In walks the rabbit and says, ‘A pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie, please barman’.
The barman says, ‘I’m sorry rabbit, old mate, old mucker, but we are right out of them Ham and Cheese Toasties..’.
The rabbit looks aghast.
The crowd has quietened to almost a whisper, when the barman clears his throat nervously and says, ‘We do have a very nice Cheese and Onion Toastie.’
The rabbit looks him in the eye and says, ‘Are you sure I will like it?’
The masses’ bated breath is ear shatteringly silent.
The barman, with a roguish smile says, ‘Do you think that I would let down one of my best friends. I know you’ll
love it.’
‘Ok’, says the rabbit, ‘I’ll have a pint of beer and a Cheese and Onion Toastie.’
The pub erupts with glee as the rabbit quaffs the beer and guzzles the toastie. He then waves to the crowd and leaves….
NEVER TO RETURN!!!!!!
One year later, in the now impoverished public house, the barman, (who has only served 4 drinks tonight, 3 of which were his), calls time. When he is cleaning down the now empty bar, he sees a small white form, floating above the bar.
The barman says, ‘Who are you?’, to which he is answered, ‘I am the ghost of the rabbit that used to frequent your public house.’
The barman says, ‘I remember you. You made me famous. You would come in every night and have a pint of beer and a Ham and Cheese Toastie. Masses came to see you and this place was famous.’
The rabbit says, ‘Yes I know.’
The barman said, ‘I remember, on your last night we didn’t have any Ham and Cheese Toasties. You had a Cheese and Onion one instead.’
The rabbit said, ‘Yes, you promised me that I would love it.’
The barman said, ‘You never came back, what happened?’
I DIED’, said the rabbit.
‘NO!’ said the barman. ‘What from?’
After a short pause. The rabbit said…
.
.
.
‘Mixin-me-toasties.’
Hope they plugged that oil leak so they could play their game.
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Totally unconnected but while I remember, I was talking to Tiger Meanie last home game. He's now married and has two children, how time passes so quickly.
The views expressed in my posts are not necessarily mine.
I knew he had one bairn, how's he doing? Good lad is meanie.Totally unconnected but while I remember, I was talking to Tiger Meanie last home game. He's now married and has two children, how time passes so quickly.
The views expressed in my posts are not necessarily mine.
He's fine, his daughter has caught the City bug, the cruel git!
The views expressed in my posts are not necessarily mine.
He's fine, his daughter has caught the City bug, the cruel git!
The views expressed in my posts are not necessarily mine.
Told ya he was a good lad 
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I used to be able to do that, but then I did have my eyesight...
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Anyone need a new clock?
Edit Liam Riding a Tiger obviously. Not sure how Gary got into the tweet.
This was on one of the forums i visit, seems it's made the Hamsphire version of Hdm as well. Might have to double check next time i go to Simpsons.
https://www.ukaps.org/forum/threads/lazarus-the-wonder-fish.71442/#post-716958
https://www.hampshirelive.news/news...xEDn-Mlvp2K7jSwTq1w2bgKcR__RS1pIq-tseYVoyRTVc
https://www.ukaps.org/forum/threads/lazarus-the-wonder-fish.71442/#post-716958
https://www.hampshirelive.news/news...xEDn-Mlvp2K7jSwTq1w2bgKcR__RS1pIq-tseYVoyRTVc
At least it was fresh.
The views expressed in my posts are not necessarily mine.
The views expressed in my posts are not necessarily mine.
He would fit in with Humberside’s Finest. https://www.dailystar.co.uk/news/weird-news/cop-monitoring-spy-balloon-left-29346393