Old Man Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. He’d never been to church in his life: After Mass, the priest caught up with him and said. “Murphy, I am so glad ya decided to come to Mass. What made ya come?” Murphy said, “I got to be honest with you Father. A while back, I misplaced my hat and I really, really love that hat. I know that McGlynn had a hat just like mine and I knew he came to church every Sunday. I also knew that he had to take off his hat during Mass and figured he would leave it in the back of the church. So, I was going to leave after Communion and steal McGlynn’s hat.” The priest said. “Well, Murphy, I notice that ya didn’t steal McGlynn’s hat. What changed your mind?” Murphy replied. “Well, after I heard your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided that I didn’t need to steal McGlynn’s hat after all.” With a tear in his eye, the priest gave Murphy a big smile and said. “After I talked about ‘Thou Shalt Not Steal’ ya decided you would rather do without your hat than burn in Hell?” Murphy slowly shook his head. “No, Father, after ya talked about ‘Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery’ I remembered where I left my hat.”
anybody hear that ex Crystal Palce player on Talksport earlier talking about match fixing? how when he went down to non league, blokes turning up with bags full of cash and telling them what to do to claim it. half the team involved in some cases, reckons it is rife in the lower leagues and academy games. no wonder i can never get an acca in.
