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Off Topic And Now for Something Completely Different

Discussion in 'Hull City' started by Dr.Stanley O'Google, HCFC, Nov 20, 2015.

  1. Phinius T Bookbinder

    Phinius T Bookbinder Well-Known Member

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    if you have to have an op it’s a good place to be. Good luck.
     
    #31061
  2. Phinius T Bookbinder

    Phinius T Bookbinder Well-Known Member

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    Unfortunately true. However good idea.
     
    #31062
  3. TwoWrights

    TwoWrights Well-Known Member

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    Smartarse? I aspire to adequacy, but never reach it. :emoticon-0138-think


    The views expressed in my posts are not necessarily mine.
     
    #31063
  4. rovertiger

    rovertiger Well-Known Member

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  5. SW3 Chelsea Tiger

    SW3 Chelsea Tiger Well-Known Member

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  6. Ron Burguvdy

    Ron Burguvdy Well-Known Member

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  7. TwoWrights

    TwoWrights Well-Known Member

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  8. Baldrick's Cunning Plan

    Baldrick's Cunning Plan Well-Known Member

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    The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident in the Bay Of Fundy, Nova Scotia , a man answered his door to find two grim-faced Mounties. “We know it’s late, sir, but we have some information about your wife,” said one of the Mounties.

    “Tell me! Did you find her!?” the husband shouted.

    The Mounties looked at each other. One said,

    “We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news.. Which do you want to hear first?”

    Fearing the worst, the ashen husband said “Give me the bad news first.”

    The second Mountie said, “I’m sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife’s body in the bay.” “Oh my God!” exclaimed the husband. Swallowing hard, he asked, “What’s the good news?”

    The Mountie continued, “When we pulled her up, she had 6 twenty-five pound snow crabs and 12 good-size lobsters clinging to her.”

    Stunned, the husband demanded, “If that’s the good news, what’s the great news???”

    The Mountie answered, “We’re gonna pull her up again tomorrow.”
     
    #31068
  9. Baldrick's Cunning Plan

    Baldrick's Cunning Plan Well-Known Member

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    A Teenage Boy Goes To Church To Confess His Sins

    “Forgive me Father, for I have sinned

    I have been with a loose girl.”

    The priest asks, “Is that you, little Tommy O'Shaughnessy?”

    ‘Yes, Father, it is.”

    “And who was the girl you were with?”

    “I can't tell you, Father

    I don't want to ruin her reputation.”

    “Well, Tommy, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Patricia Fitzgerald?”

    “I cannot say.”

    “Was it Lisa O'Shanter?”

    “I'll never tell.”

    “Was it Cathy O'Dell?”

    “I'm sorry, but I cannot name her.”

    “Was it Fiona Mallory?”

    “My lips are sealed.”

    “Was it Brenda O'Malley, then?”

    “Please, Father, I cannot tell you.”

    The priest sighs in frustration

    “You're very tight-lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned, and you have to atone. You can no longer be an altar boy until 4 months have passed. Now you go and behave yourself.”

    “Yes, Father.”

    Tommy walks back to his pew, and his friend Sean slides over and whispers, “What'd you get?”

    Tommy grins,

    “Four months vacation and five good leads!”
     
    #31069
  10. TwoWrights

    TwoWrights Well-Known Member

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    I like it, although 'those with a modicum of wit should agree that any half-decent joke has some connection to reality' types may not, 'feck 'em' say I.
     
    #31070

  11. SW3 Chelsea Tiger

    SW3 Chelsea Tiger Well-Known Member

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  12. SW3 Chelsea Tiger

    SW3 Chelsea Tiger Well-Known Member

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  13. Ron Burguvdy

    Ron Burguvdy Well-Known Member

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  14. DJBlackandamberarmy(No4)

    DJBlackandamberarmy(No4) Well-Known Member

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    old so possibly been shared before, made me laugh though
     
    #31074
    Chesh1recat likes this.
  15. Sir Cheshire Ben

    Sir Cheshire Ben Well-Known Member

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  16. cheshireles

    cheshireles Well-Known Member

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    The more you open up, the more you'll get out of it!
     
    #31076
  17. Cityzen

    Cityzen Well-Known Member

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    Yorkshire Ladies played Northumberland Ladies at Driffield Rugby Club last week. Someone at the club is in hot water for asking “is that a woman?”<laugh>


    upload_2025-6-4_15-2-8.png
     
    #31077
    TwoWrights likes this.
  18. TIGERSCAVE

    TIGERSCAVE Well-Known Member

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  19. TIGERSCAVE

    TIGERSCAVE Well-Known Member

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  20. TIGERSCAVE

    TIGERSCAVE Well-Known Member

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