Alan Partridges ideas for a television programme

One born every minute. Hundreds of Africans tell monaco hes the baby daddy.

 

Queue, Aye! - Dev bores everyone with stories about times he had to stand in really long queues and loved it.

 

Green Wing - Mindy joins the militant arm of the Green Brigade with Sgt. Bilko style results.

 

Enemy at the Door - Girvan orders yet another pizza to Dev's hoose.

 

Only fools and sofas

Gambol and his girlfriend try to sell off a soiled sofa to Wishaw locals

 

I'm the pappy

 

Doc Martin - Minxy finally succumbs to lesbianism.

 

Shooting stars - Vic and Bob encourage a range of minor celebrities to inject heroin live on stage

 

50-50 - Monaco finally finds out the results of his genealogical test.

 

Are you being served ? Old Mr Grainger wants to see Dan in his office but is Dan Freeeee

 

Pitch Perfect

The thrilling behind the scenes action at Motherwell FC as they continue to fail to cope with Scottish weather.

It's a musical.

 

The Ex-Factor

ER tours the country warning young males about the perils of marriage.

 

Cadfail - Gambol slips from cheeky chappy to internet pervert in the space of a few weeks.

 

Rogue traders , this week dodgy car salesman Rocket is the focus of the team.

 

Can't pay won't pay - Mick uses the works of Adam Smith, Alan Greenspan and Hans Christian Anderson to explain to his cleaner why she cannot have a €1 per week pay rise.

 

Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares

Gordon Ramsay attempts to transform the fortunes of struggling Italian restaurant Qua after an internet smear campaign.

 

...oh, I like that. Better if it was Jen or Maxine tho.