Ahem

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I understand that an undisclosed big name will be joining him for some winter sports while in Switzerland.

Star, ski and Mutch.

GROAN!!!!!! It's a bit of a slalom trying to avoid your bad jokes. Things are going downhill Cling.

I see the Irish water-skiiing team have pulled out of the Olympics citing lack of practice. They'd been unable to find a lake on a slope.

It was also reported that ariving at pre-season training, Wayne Rooney was bigging himself up over his acheivements during the summer. When asked he said he'd done a jigsaw puzzle and it had only taken him 6 weeks. Asked why he thought that was such an acheivement, he pointed out it had said 2-3 years on the box.