Off Topic A Place to have a Moan about Anything

Been watching France 24 for about two hours now; f****n' brilliant coverage!

 

Designer stubble is the way forward, buy a trimmer for about £30, plug it in and trim job done.

Only shave now if we are going to say weddings funerals and the like, other than that it plug and go for me.

 

Annoying adverts. One at present is for the Royal Navy (I think). If you can mend a bike, you can mend a car. if you can mend a car you can bla bla bla. It goes on and on. I've heard it so many times I find myself talking to the TV . Well at it,saying something like "Yea you can do ****ing anything. Now **** off". If it wasn't so annoying it could have been a good advert, especially with jobs difficult to find these days

 

My ol man goes off the deep end everytime Ray Winstone peddles Bet365's wares during live footy matches.

 

Yes. Who would want to place a bet there?

 

If you can fix a Type-45 Destroyer, then you should leave the Navy, move to Monaco and start getting paid silly money to fix billionaires’ yachts and motor cruisers. There is little chance of you finding yourself in the middle of a war zone being shot at or torpedoed; and the women’s uniforms cover up a lot less of their assets on a sunny day.

In the Secret Escapes advert, the woman who was attacked by a wolf is sat in the shade regaling a man with the tale of how lucky she is to be there. The man is sat in the sun reading a book on his third luxury holiday. He obviously only arrived today because he does not look very tanned for a man sat in the direct sunshine. I wonder if this luxury holiday is in Skegness in April, so it is not hot enough to make him tan or sweat but not cold enough to make him shiver. Are parasols and sun shades the sixty per cent that has been deducted from the luxury holiday? The woman got her holiday for a tenner with a coupon on the front of The Sun.

 

More than a moan really, possibly serious actually, but it bothers me quite a bit when, say, Aldi or Lidl 'recall' a cold-store or frozen product in its entirety from their shelves due to a some kind of nasty problem, and you realise that you probably already ate some of the stuff!

 

Guts and other organs too f****d up already!

 

Usually there's nothing serious and you'd have to either it raw or in industrial quantities to have so much as an irregularly timed burp. And usually if someone did get sick they probably would have done so anyway. I have always thought supermarkets are more risk averse than pretty much any other business when it comes to product recall but I guess dead customers isn't the best PR!

 

No way, Kenny, your 'guts' are quite obviously titanium-coated!

 

I was reading somewhere that the microbes in the gut can affect a person's state of mind. It must be true. After a week of no crapping, I tend to get a bit depressed too.

 

Having remained 'alkoholfrei' since my last bourbon on Thursday 12th April a few days after the 50th Anniversary Jethro Tull concert in Edinburgh my organs are in pretty good nick which is more than I can say for my bones which are aching!

My body better hold out for a little while longer as I have two trips (Koln in Oktober and Munchen/Mittenwald in January 2019) virtually fully paid up along with the purchase of numerous Euros. Planning next May/June trip with Paris/London idea budding in my bonce!

 

Cyc, a useful tip would be ground Psyllium Seeds (called Flohsamen in German). Rarely have this problem myself, but when I do I take the recommended daily dose (can't remember exactly, but think it's one or two tablespoonfuls in water) just for a day or so, and soon back to normal. Really does work. A natural therapy, i.e. no drugs.

 

I just use the garden hose Swanny.

 

Have times become so bad at Auntie that they cannot afford to employ people who can tell the time?

This morning on BBC Radio 5 Live, the presenter told listeners that “it’s quarter past eight nearly”. Is “nearly” a recognised unit of time in Salford? It was 8:13, woman.

If you can only accurately tell the time at four points in every hour, wait until the hands on the clock are actually pointing at them. Then it is quarter past the hour, half past the hour, quarter to the hour and the hour precisely – assuming you can figure out the hour hand.

 

If you want timekeeping accuracy you should switch to BBC Radio 4; thought for the day!

 

RANT MODE ON

There is no way to get a Eurostar to Paris on Sunday 16th September for Arc Trials Day (there were none months ago for the whole weekend), so I have had to do a convoluted weekend including flying back on Sunday night.

I tried to book a flight on the Air France website and it offered several ways to pay.

First I tried Paypal but when it transferred to the Paypal website, it crashed my browser.

So then I tried my credit card. It went to my credit card company’s website to verify the card and then tried to transfer me back to KLM and crashed the page with a “404” Not Found error. I tried it again with the same result.

Fourth time lucky, I thought, going with my debit card. It went to the debit card website to verify the card and then did the same as the credit card – tried to go back to KLM and gave me the error page.

So I thought I would try rebooting my laptop to see if the problem was at my end. I then went back to Air France and did the credit card booking and got the same result.

In exasperation, I decided to find another airline – after I had sent Air France some less than complimentary feedback, wondering how they sold anyone tickets when three of the four online payment methods do not work.

I went on the Vueling website and went through an almost identical booking process and their website actually worked. I got to the end and it said it had sent me an email to confirm my booking details. The only issues with their flight is that it is an hour earlier and goes to Gatwick, so I would be looking at paying for the Gatwick Express to London on Sunday night.

So I open up Outlook to download the email and what do I find? Two e-tickets: one from Vueling (expected) and one from Air France (it seems that despite telling me that it had failed, my last attempt had worked). Now I have two non-refundable tickets.

I could have flown both ways on Sunday for what I have paid in air fares. Instead I am getting the ferry on Saturday to Dieppe – a place that I have not been to for nearly forty years – and a train to Paris on Sunday morning. One day at the races is already over £300!

RANT MODE OFF

 

Bloody hell QM. That would piss me right off. They maybe non-refundable tickets but I would get onto them to cancel the booking given that you would hardly book a ferry if you had a flight successfully booked. I would also get onto the bank. It's clear you wouldn't be trying to pull a fast one.