I can imagine Skiddy and his "wife" going on the Jeremy Kyle Show. Skiddy would take the lie detector test, thinking he could blag his way through it, and Jeremy would lull him into a false sense of security, before ****ing him good and proper in front of millions. I imagine Skiddy as the spitting-image of Johnny Vegas, only without the humour, sat next to a stunning Thai "girl" whose hands are suspiciously knotted with too many sinews and callouses. Jeremy: "So, Skids... we asked you if your wife has ever taken you up the arse..." Skiddy: "She never 'as, Jeremey, I swear to you, mate!" Jeremy: "We also asked you if you get your cock out on buses..." Skiddy: "I don't, Jeremey, mate! You can ask anyone!" Jeremy: "What do you reckon the lie detector said?" Skiddy: "It's a ****ing liar, Jeremey! I swear to ya, mate! I never did get us knob out on't bus!" Jeremy: "You're a cock-sucking, knob-waving liar, aren't you, Skiddy!" Skiddy: "No, Jezzer, mate! You've got it all wrong, pal... [Crowd begins to chant "Jer-e-my! Jer-e-my!"]
I've never actually seen Jeremy Kyle's show only heard about it by reputation. I didn't know it was THAT kind of show.
Next week... Oh and you need to bring your wife and your dog to the show that day too and Bod's sheep.
