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Off Topic A confession thread

Discussion in 'The Premier League' started by Matth_2014, Aug 15, 2019.

  1. Milk and Kebabs

    Milk and Kebabs Well-Known Member

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    As Confusedcius said "It's better to handle one girl, than two with a bush".


    Question though... You're walking home from the pub and a limo pulls up next to you. It's Scarlett Johansen. She is completely naked and has a vagina that looks like she is giving birth to Bob Ross. She offers you sex... Do you turn her down?
     
    #81
    gooner4ever likes this.
  2. The Ginger Marks

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    Have a good look then look at your kebab in the other hand and walk home. :emoticon-0105-wink:
     
    #82
  3. Quesadaad

    Quesadaad Well-Known Member

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    No, but I would make a really big effort not to look at it.
     
    #83
  4. Milk and Kebabs

    Milk and Kebabs Well-Known Member

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    You can skip the first 40 seconds...
     
    #84
  5. Sucky

    Sucky peoples champ & forum saviour

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    I confess ill probably eat all of this by midnight.
    Screenshot_2019-08-16-17-08-39.png
     
    #85
    Lovearsenalcock likes this.
  6. Quesadaad

    Quesadaad Well-Known Member

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    Don’t forget to charge yer phone dude
     
    #86
    Libby and Sucky like this.
  7. The Ginger Marks

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    If Carlesburg did kebabs they wouldn't be sold out of limosines by blond strumpet.
     
    #87
  8. Chief

    Chief Northern Simpleton
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    His can anyone let their phone go so low?

    Decent crisps though.
     
    #88
  9. PINKIE

    PINKIE Wurzel Gummidge

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    I spotted that <laugh>

    Sucky's been out on a Royster mission.
     
    #89
  10. Sucky

    Sucky peoples champ & forum saviour

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    #90

  11. Big Ern

    Big Ern Lord, Master, Guru & Emperor

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    #91
    Skylarker, Sharpe*, Sucky and 3 others like this.
  12. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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  13. johnstons paint trophy

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    I pumped a £1 Eastern European child sex slave in a Govanhill close.
     
    #93
  14. brb

    brb CR250

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    Banned, first post, account has been in the system for a month.
     
    #94
  15. DUNCAN DONUTS

    DUNCAN DONUTS SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIOR

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    ^^^Racist
     
    #95
    Sucky and Skylarker like this.
  16. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
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    I’m scared of tinned Tuna. Makes me wretch. Horrible evil stuff. Even typing it makes my skin crawl.

    Urrrgh.
     
    #96
  17. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    But all the women in Consett smell of rotting tuna.
     
    #97
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  18. Willhoops

    Willhoops Well-Known Member

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    I hate supermarket shopping. Bores the **** out of me, the majority of people in their are annoying ****s, so messing with these people is a must. It usually involves putting stuff in other peoples trolleys and is more entertaining since Sainsbury’s has started selling lube and vibrating cock rings, especially if the trolley in question is being used by a senior citizen.
     
    #98
    Skylarker, Sucky and The Ginger Marks like this.
  19. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    I like shopping at Sainsburys, as it's always empty, cos every **** is n Aldi and Lidl.

    When i got the stupid TV, the young lad made the fatal mistake of asking 'would you like help to get it to your car'<laugh>

    Was funny watching him getting a hi vis on, and struggling with this git big box.
     
    #99
  20. Matth_2014

    Matth_2014 Well-Known Member

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    I’m scared of heights.
     
    #100

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