We need a plan B guys. The doorbell went I burst out spraying the pissy mustard mix. It was only Mrs Smith from across the road, she had just popped over to check on me because my mum had asked her too. I sprayed her on the head and face before i realised who it was. It didn't burn her at all though. She just said, what the **** are you doing - this smells like piss. I apologised obviously but didn't tell her what it really was. If she tells her husband George then i am proper ****ed. This has gone from bad to worse.
Right guys, there is a group of people just hanging round drinking outside. They look a bit chav but not that hard. I'm thinking about just walking up and twatting the biggest one and saying "**** off". After that the rest will get the message. I've never really punched anyone before. Can Huth or one of the scottish guys tell me the best way? Do i just roll my fist into a ball and aim for the general skull area?
Has anyone here actually punched a person before, or are you all just internet hardcases? Tell me what to do if you have really punched some before. You are all talk.
Ok guys, i've invited them in. They seem nice enough. I'll check this periodically so if anyone has any advice on how to punch properly i'd appreciate it - just incase it all kicks off. Also when the girl comes round i'll want to kick them out because i don't want them down stairs alone when we are upstairs shagging.
First, you unbutton your trousers, then your boxers until your cock is hanging out, then you shake it about wildly at their face, if it hits, thats a bonus, if it gets stuck in their mouth, you've won. Good luck.
A friendly chemist I happen to know, not any one in particular, told me that Vinegar and bleach will produce chlorine gas -it was used in WW1 for a reason. Although would be completely over the top in this situation. Best thing to do would be to set up massive speakers outside your neighbours house, and watch as everyone is drawn there instead, then tell your bird the real party is next door at yours. If, of course, this isn't a giant WUM.
NEVER punch anyone, you might end up in a fight you'll lose, the best bet is to put on some steel toecap boots and kick out at kneee or ball level, a winner (almost) every time.
