2 by 4.........

[Frank The Tank]

My best mate, aye ****in heard it

Its true, he did. I've no shame whatsoever, I'd admit to nailing a mongrel. I was in Ayia Napa at the time humping an older norwegian bird who looked like a police horse.

Felt a lot better about myself when I returned to see my best mate flaunting her skidmarked knickers at 5's.

 

[Castleger]

Police horse, we've all been there Frank, although steaming drunk she looked more like My Little Pony

 

[Frank The Tank]

She was awful, and wanted me to write to her. My mate rode her equally ugly pal. So while he was getting his kit back on in the bedroom I wrote out my address;

John Dom
4 Skin Road
Longorgan
CU11 9NT

My mate then appeared from the room and instead of bothering with small talk (which I was stupidly doing) he just clapped his hands and said, "Thanks ladies I'm off, catch ye!"

Left me sat there on my own, so I offered to run after him and bring him back.