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I've just had my celebratory BJ from Tina. Who's next up?
Congratulations to my old team on their fine win today and finally clinching the league.
Because it's the start of the Bank Holiday weekend. What do you want to call it? ****e Friday?
That's not his real name you numbskull, although his real name is embarrassing enough - it's Simon Honey
Thank you very much. It's not that difficult, really. Whoever draws the short straw in the office takes me down the pub for the afternoon, plies...
This is the sort of prejudice that I had to put up with my whole career. And I'm ginger too. And a twat. :emoticon-0112-wonde
I'm too modest to suggest that the stadium should be named after me, but the Big Bad John Stand has a nice ring to it.
It's not worth the hassle, he says. Who on earth would want to go abroad, he asks, in the new Visit Britain ad. According to his interminable...
Rangers problems started when they decided against signing me on the grounds of a dodgy medical. I went to Celtic instead and the rest is history.
PR stunt of the year so far.
Watching Sky Sports Masters coverage. I've never seen such shameless toadying when Fat Jack was on.
Has the boy pumped his first sheep yet?
He gets very territorial when his owners are away.
Get down off the sofa, you've got hairs and slobber all over it.
You think they are?
And it's to your credit.
I'm not really in football any more and, if you've read any of my columns, you'll know I know **** all about the game.
This Celtic team were handed this season's SPL on a plate and aren't fit to lace the boots of any of the league winning sides that I played in.
What's the boy Jose on about when he says that there won't be a Chelsea/Real Madrid final and 'everyone in football knows why'?
It's because of tight-arses like you lot that the economy's ****ed.
