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I think I might have a bath. Yep. Just checked. It's upstairs in the bathroom.
My company does random urine tests for Saints fans. It’s to detect any traces of hope or optimism.
I have a tendency to not listen to people properly. The doctor says it's because I've got 80HD.
As I lay on the couch, talking about my childhood and sobbing, I said, “Do you think I'm crazy?” “Yes,” replied the DFS sales assistant.
Me: “Squirting isn't real, right? It's just urine, right?” Interviewer: “I meant any questions about the job.”
After retiring, I went to the Job Centre to apply for Social Security benefit. The lady behind the counter asked for my driver's license to verify...
Dorothy and Edna, two "senior" widows, are talking. Dorothy: "That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date. I know you went out with him last...
Ole and Sven were playing golf when Sven pulled out a cigar but didn't have a lighter so he asked Ole for a light. "Ya, shure, I tink I haff a...
A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what he could do to cure his problem....
Newcastle United fans broke the internet today, after disgruntled Geordies and their Whippets, turned to Twitter asking how could they let Adam...
To think that Messi and Ronaldo were available in the same transfer window and Man City end up paying more for Grealish... the irony. They could...
Seamus was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this...
An old couple are in a taxi in America. The taxi driver says, "So, which part of England are you folks from?" The old man replies, "From...
Saints face Sheffield United at Bramall Lane in the third round of the Carabao Cup. A couple of years ago, I got lost driving round South...
I just read out my son's GCSE results. There were that many 'A's' I sounded like a scouser trying to stop a fight.
Vestergaard was part of a defence that was the 4th worse in the PL last season. Leicester City now have 50% of our back four.
I think Everton are there for the taking. Rafa will be under huge pressure from the Everton diehards, and things can get pretty toxic at Goodison...
His chief weapon is surprise. Surprise and fear. Fear and surprise. His two weapons are fear and surprise. And ruthless efficiency. His three...
Two guys, one old and one young, are pushing their trolleys around B & Q when they collide. The old guy says to the young guy, "Sorry about that....
Sean Connery says to Miss Moneypenny... "Why are you shuddenly trying to bosh me around?" She replies.."because you said, 'show me you're pushy.'
