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The Bayeux Tapestry has received an update. [ATTACH]
I just poured superglue into a non-stick pan. Somebody is going to be wrong
My dad once said to me that if you compliment a woman, they'll do anything for you. So how come my wife isn't talking to me after I told her that...
My wife is working where there is no internet so every week I send her my love in the post. Apparently it nearly always leaks out of the Jiffy Bag...
How many animals got w*nked off before farmers realised you could only milk some of them?
Just went into a shop and said, "Can I pay by card?" The cashier said, "No problem, what card do you have?" I said, "The six of spades!"
I'm not saying my wife is ugly, but I've quit my job so I don't have to kiss her goodbye in the morning!
I've just been given sleeping tablets. Not sure how to wake them up.
In the spirit of Wimbledon fortnight I bought a punnet of strawberries and looked to the internet for the best way to serve them. It suggested...
My underpants would look like a map of the Farne Islands.
Taken from the Beehive site on facey. [ATTACH]
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