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Friday Joke

Discussion in 'Newcastle United' started by atom heart mother, Aug 8, 2014.

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  1. milner_for_england

    milner_for_england Member

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    What do a Haemophiliac and a virgin have in common?



    1 small prick and it's all over
     
    #21
    milner_for_england, Aug 9, 2014
  2. atom heart mother

    atom heart mother Member

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    Bloke from Barnsley with piles asks chemist "Nah then lad, does tha sell arse cream?"
    Chemist replies "Aye, Magnum or Cornetto?"
     
    #22
    atom heart mother, Aug 9, 2014
  3. jimileysbaldhead

    jimileysbaldhead Well-Known Member

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    Bloke walks into a chemist and asks for some deodorant, the assistant says " ball applicator or aerosol?"


    The fella says " neither, it's for my armpits "
     
    #23
    jimileysbaldhead, Aug 9, 2014
  4. Deletion Requested1

    Deletion Requested1 Well-Known Member

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    Two monkeys running a bath one puts his arm in and goes "oo ooh aah ahh ahh" the other one says "well put some cold in"


    just realised how hard it is to do monkey noises on the internet! lol
     
    #24
    Deletion Requested1, Aug 9, 2014
  5. Somebodys pinched my sombrero

    Somebodys pinched my sombrero Well-Known Member

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    The Catholic Church have allowed the use of condoms for some extreme occasions. For example, if the alter boy has diarrhoea.
     
    #25
    Somebodys pinched my sombrero, Aug 9, 2014
  6. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
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    What's red white and blue and full of ****?



    A Sports Direct carrier bag.
     
    #26
    Albert's Chip Shop, Aug 9, 2014
  7. KazakhToon

    KazakhToon Well-Known Member

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    Mick and Paddy walking through the woods, see a sign saying "Tree fellers wanted"

    Paddy turns to Mick and says "It's a pity Seamus isn't here..."
     
    #27
    KazakhToon, Aug 9, 2014
  8. Albert's Chip Shop

    Albert's Chip Shop Top Grafter
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    #28
    Albert's Chip Shop, Aug 9, 2014
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