True dipper story

A Manc ventriloquist visiting Liverpool walks into a sink estate and sees a local sitting outside patting his dog.

He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to a local ,
Hi, mind if I talk to your dog?'

Dipper: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Manc.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?'

Dog: 'Yeah, doin' all right.'

Dipper (look of extreme shock)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this villager your owner?' (pointing at the Dipper)

Dog: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'

Dog: 'Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food And takes me to the seaside once a week to play.'

Dipper: (look of utter disbelief)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'

Dipper: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think.'

Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'

Horse: 'Cool'

Dipper (absolutely dumbfounded)

Ventriloquist: 'Is this your owner?' (Pointing at the villager)

Horse: 'Yep'

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, Brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me from the Elements..'

Dipper: (total look of amazement)

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'

Dipper: (in a panic) 'The sheep's a ****en liar.

 

Cool Story Bro

 

If a manc came over here talking the piss the poor **** would get the dog set on him and a good hiding for his troubles.

 

Fixed

 

So was the ventriloquist doing the voices or what?

 

That's funnier than the story!!

 

Was it Luvgonzo...?

 

So the bloke was nonchalantly sat outside with a dog a horse and a sheep on a estate in Liverpool?

Reckon the bloke would have been stabbed just for being that weird freaking out the locals thinking they were tripping or such like.

 

Nope!

 

Thats barmy, talking animals