Never a truer word, Alfie! So sorry to hear this and can only send heartfelt best wishes to you both. Stay strong!
I'm so sorry to hear this. If there's ANYTHING at all that any of us can do...you know that you just have to say... Love to you, your wife, your family and friends. You will be in my thoughts.
that's an awful situation but you are a fantastic person for doing what you are. I know people think that the samaritans are only there for those about to end their lives but they will listen to anyone ... you can call from any phone for free on 116123. I know that sharing on here has made me feel looked after...I hope it does the same for you 61. all the best
Thank you all for your kind comments and wishes. I was very nervous about posting it but the response has made me glad that I did.
Best wishes to you and your wife Alfie. Pancreatic cancer took my brother-in-law many years ago he was only about 50 and had no symptoms until it was nearly all over. As you say love your family and friends and do not put off all your plans till tomorrow as you really do not know what is around the corner. When we lived near London a neighbour's wife got dementia and he said to us that they had so many plans for their retirement but she no longer knew who he was half the time. Inspired by that I retired early and as soon as our youngest went to University we daftly went on the programme Escape to the Country and ended up buying a 35 acre farm near Carmarthen. We only had a year there before Mrs S61 was diagnosed with a tumour which in typical Welsh fashion they described as about the size of a rugby ball (she thought she just had a type of flu) - but that was one of the best years of our lives. We bought sheep, goats, chickens, Shetland ponies and dug about 30 vegetable beds whilst letting local farmers use much of the land. No regrets even though we had to sell and move back near London for Mrs S61's treatment. If you have plans - do them while you can.
Thanks to you all , we take each day as it comes because we do not know whats round the corner , Carol is one of those organisers, our marriage is one of those easy going partnerships where we Carried out traditional roles, I still worked until last month , the company have given me compassionate leave but it's the transfer of various things , insurance, bank accounts , standing orders ect , cancellation of a holiday was a massive ball ache and getting past the GPs reception, spending hours in A&E is draining but the staff are brilliant and the organisation by the hospice staff will be forever greatful but without doubt the hardest part is gradually breaking the news to the grandkids age 10,7,5 and 2 Thanks once again
Life has a way of kicking peope even when they are down. I tripped and fell ouside on Monday - was badly shaken up and was not sure if I had badly bruised or broken some ribs. Online suggested it made no difference as the solution is simply wait until they heal and take painkillers. I did but supporting someone else to prevent them falling when you are not steady yourself is a challenge. Thought that was it but Tuesday morning - just sitting down I began to feel faint and could only see stars and coloured shapes - managed to take blood pressure which had fallen to 65/42 which I knew was not good. I called 999 and about an hour later ambulance arrived. By then BP had revived to over 100/60 so I was a lot better. ECG showed some slight abnormality in my heart but not serious, They suggested they take me in for a fuller cardiac test but I refused as I have nobody else to look after Mrs S61. Been OK since and chest pain easing but feel totally vulnerable. We have decided to sell our house and move nearer to two of our daughters so that in an emergency we might at least have some support. Has made us very sad as we love it here and it is the second house we have had to move from for medical reasons. Not sure now whether to get a bungalow or look for some sort of protective housing so that Mrs S61 has more reliable support. Ain't life grand ?
So sorry to hear your news! "It never rains..." And it's tougher still when you have to make choices that you really don't want to have to make. But having the options - and the possible family support option - at least provides some positive resolution, I hope? Take good care of yourself / yourselves.
I fell your pain mate My wife has just spent the last 14 days in hospital moved wards 3 times mainly due to over crowding and the patients with mental health or dementia, finally today she has moved to a local hospice , the illness has moved on such a pace doctors have advised us to stop chemo and palliative care now to the end , 8weeks ago people found it hard to see that Carol had cancer in that time she has lost 2 stone and all her strength , the family are now making the best time we have left together
No words, Alfie. No words! Stay strong, make the most of that time and remember all the great times I'm sure you had together!
My thoughts are with both of you @Alfie Conn and @Spurs61. It just makes me realise how lucky I am...
