Hilarious Jokes

He went for 55 in the end. Late bid came in on the phone.

 

A mate came round and repaired my roof, I asked him how much it would cost and he said not to worry, it's on the house.

 

Walked into a new cafe near me and read the menu:

Cheese Roll £2
Ham Roll £2
****s £10

I said to the beautiful large breasted lady behind the counter “Is it you giving the ****s?”
She said “yes, it’s me”.

So I said “Can you wash your hands then? I’d like 2 cheese rolls please”.