Brilliant. I likes when the copper tokd him not to shout in a public place so he bops to his drive and shouts "gah on then fukin pick it up"
But youre right just oick it up and fuxk off cos youre in the wrong so own it say sorry and go.
Dont think i mentioned it on here but last week i was waiting for a bus near Ealing on the way to a job, i just got a coffee and a bake from greggs.
Anyways i finish my bake and walk about 10ft to bin and put the wrapper in walk back to my bag and coffee and get a burn out to smoke. My bus comes about halfway down the *** so i flick it on some grass behind me and get on the bus and go sit at the back.
Im playing on my phone and notice the bus aint moving yet.. so i look up and i see a bloke in a fake plod uniform talking to the driver and then pointing towards me.
So This mother fukin comes to me it goes like this.
Fske plod - Excuse me sir you need to get off the bus because i just saw you commit a criminal offence.
Me - mate are you fukin serious? im on my way to work go away i want getting off the bus.
Fske plod, well the bus isnt moving until you get off. The driver now opens his door and gestured something to the fake plod.
Me- mate seriously what do you want? Are you a policeman? What criminal offence did i commit? I aint getting off the bus im on my way to work so just piss off.
Fske plod, sir i neee to talk to you about tye offence you committed and i cant do thst on the bus
Nexr thing you know rhe bus pulls off and the plod looks betrayed by the bus driverthen the **** sits down next to me and says.
Okay then sir we can get off at the next stop.
By this time ive close to losing my **** and cussing this dickhead out so when we approach the next stop i say..
look im getting off the bus yeh you fujin hapoy you jobsworth **** (i said i was close to cussing him out)
So we get off the bus and i say okay whats this about?
He proceeds to tell me that he witnessed that i fkicked a cigarette on the floor at the last stop and gets his little noteoad out and dsys he needs to take some details..
So i say,
You got me on that body camera flicking this *** butt?
Fske plod, no sir its illegal for me to film the public.
Me-, you aint getting my details
Fake plod - well then i will need to call the police... I cut in- are you detaining me?
Fake plod - no sir i cant detain you bit i will have to call the poli... I cut in again
Well im going then you fuking useless prick. And walk off
He again says hes calling the police
I then say as i stride off - call them then you fukin useless ****.
Man thought i was some fukin tourist bruv
You'll have to get an old tobacco tin to put your ***butt in. When I was smoking I had one of those tiny metal pocket ashtray things, because I couldn't be arsed with the hassle. Even an old metal cigar tube would do it.
