Jack is 32 years old and he is still single. One day a friend asked "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?" Jack replied, "Actually, I've found many women that I have wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them." His friend thinks for a moment and says "I've got the perfect solution. Just find a girl who's just like your mother." A few months later they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect girl, and did your mother like her?" With a frown on his face, Jack answers "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother and you were right, my mother liked her very much." The friend said "What's the problem, then?" Jack replied "My father doesn't like her."
A young couple took their two-year-old son to the doctor. With some hesitation, they explained that, although their little angel appeared to be in good health, they were concerned about his rather small penis. After examining the child, the doctor confidently declared, "Just feed him pancakes. That should solve the problem." The next morning, when the boy came downstairs for breakfast, there was a large stack of warm pancakes in the middle of the table. "Gee, mum," he exclaimed. "For me?" "Just take two," his mother replied. "The rest are for your dad."
A young girl who was about to go on a first date was been tutored by her grandma. "He will try to kiss you . . . . allow him. He will try to cuddle you . . . . allow him. He will try to lay you down and get on top of you . . . . DONT ALLOW HIM" The girl asked, "Why, Grandma ?" Grandma said, "Because if you do that you will have allowed him to disgrace you and all your family." Girl said, "Okay" and left on her date. Several hours later she returned and grandma asked, "How did it go?" Girl said, "Exactly as you said, except for when he laid me down and tried to disgrace our family, I turned him over, got on top of him and disgraced his family."
Was behind a woman driver on my way home from work and she indicated to turn left and what does she go and do? She actually turns left!.... How am I supposed to prepare myself with these sort of mind games?
This gets under our incredibly low standards. I haven't seen my twin brother since I left Australia... We were separated at Perth.
