Off Topic Heres a joke for you all

A priest is going round visiting his parishioners. He visits one couple and asks them if they have any children. "No," the woman replies. "God never blessed us with children." "Oh, that's a shame," says the priest. "I'm going to Rome next week so I'll light a candle and pray for you." Ten years later, he and the woman meet again. "Hello," says the priest. "Do you remember me?" "I sure do," replies the woman. "And I now have ten children." "Ten children?" the priest asks. "That's fantastic! Can I speak to your husband to congratulate him?" "No," replies the woman. "He's gone to Rome to blow out that bloody candle."

Smelly Bob drove the honey bus for the local council and he'd arrived at old Granny Smith's to empty her septic tank. Bob always enjoyed winding up the punters and shouted to the deaf old coffin dodger,
'Sorry love, but due to cutbacks I can only remove the liquid today'.
Granny Smith never enjoyed this horrid event and looked concerned.
'Yes dear, that's right' quipped the pongy prat
'You'll have to book another visit to have the solids removed'
Bob wandered back to his turd truck with a grin and Granny was quickly on the phone to his supervisor.
'Hello, is that the Council? I'm not happy about my septic tank not being emptied properly. Your man say's he can only remove the liquid today, whatever's going on?'
Bob's boss guessed he was up to his usual tricks and reassured the panicking pensioner,
'Don't worry madam, the driver's only joking, he'll do a proper job'.
'I beg your pardon' said Granny, not hearing a word.
'I said don't worry, the driver's only joking, he'll do a proper job', repeated the boss, as clearly as possible
'What's that now, you'll really have to speak up?' barked Granny.
'He's messing about, of course he'll clear the tank properly', said the desk jockey, rapidly losing patience.
'Stop mumbling man, speak clearly so I can hear you'.
'HE'S JUST TAKING THE PISS' shouted the irate official.
'Ah, at last!' exclaimed Granny. 'Now THAT'S why I'm ringing!