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**** jokes thread

Discussion in 'The Premier League' started by PINKIE, Sep 21, 2017.

  1. FosseFilberto

    FosseFilberto Pizzeria Superiore and some ...
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    Man gets stopped for erratic driving by the Polis ...

    "Could you breath into this machine sir"

    Hands over card "Chronic asthmatic" ...

    "OK then sir, we will have to take you down to the station for a blood test"

    Hands over card "Hemophiliac"

    "OK sir... then we will have to take you down to the station for a urine test"

    Hands over another card "Tottenham Hotspur Supporters Club - please don't take the piss" <laugh>
     
    #701
    Commachio likes this.
  2. FosseFilberto

    FosseFilberto Pizzeria Superiore and some ...
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    Scottish Cloakroom attendant... Angus McCoatupp...
     
    #702
  3. rooch 3

    rooch 3 Well-Known Member

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    Man with a bit of wire in his mouth

    Mike

    Woman with a slate on her head

    Ruth

    Man with a piece of glass either side of his head

    Paddy o doors

    There’s some ****e ones.
     
    #703
  4. haslam

    haslam Well-Known Member

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    What do you call a man with one leg?


    Virgil van Dyke


    #toosoon
     
    #704
    Peej likes this.
  5. Gessa

    Gessa Well-Known Member

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    BREAKING NEWS.

    Merseyside police today discovered 24kilo of heroin, 3 AK47's and £100,000 in cash at a house behind the library in Kirkby. Residents said they were shocked to discover they had a library
     
    #705
    **Hector **, Spurlock and duggie2000 like this.
  6. Treble

    Treble Keyser Söze

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    Man between two houses.

    Ali

    Woman in the woods

    Theresa Brown

    Chelsea fan

    Wayne Carr

    "How to make money" by Robin Banks
     
    #706
  7. Diego

    Diego Lone Ranger

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    New book, Russian Martial Arts by ikika bollokoff
     
    #707
  8. PINKIE

    PINKIE Wurzel Gummidge

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    <laugh>
     
    #708
    Spurlock and Treble like this.
  9. Gessa

    Gessa Well-Known Member

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    Top ranked Russian snooker player Inov The Red
     
    #709
  10. FosseFilberto

    FosseFilberto Pizzeria Superiore and some ...
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    Foot ailments by Ingrid Toenail
     
    #710

  11. Somebodys pinched my sombrero

    Somebodys pinched my sombrero Well-Known Member

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    Russian prostitute.
    Slavveron Mykokyabitch.
     
    #711
  12. Number 1 Jasper

    Number 1 Jasper Well-Known Member

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  13. duggie2000

    duggie2000 Well-Known Member

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  14. Quesadaad

    Quesadaad Well-Known Member

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    I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day - but I couldn't find any.
     
    #714
  15. duggie2000

    duggie2000 Well-Known Member

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  16. duggie2000

    duggie2000 Well-Known Member

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    145369169_10157755955052478_2821575615949392519_n.jpg
     
    #716
    PINKIE likes this.
  17. Schlem Boogerman

    Schlem Boogerman Well-Known Member

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  18. duggie2000

    duggie2000 Well-Known Member

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  19. duggie2000

    duggie2000 Well-Known Member

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  20. Schlem Boogerman

    Schlem Boogerman Well-Known Member

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