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**** jokes thread

Discussion in 'The Premier League' started by PINKIE, Sep 21, 2017.

Page 19 of 41
  1. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    What the best thing about living in switzerland?


    Well their flag is a big plus.
     
    #361
    Commachio, Sep 25, 2017
    AKCJ, The Ginger Marks, yossarian and 1 other person like this.
  2. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    Why did the man get sacked from the orange juice factory?




    He just couldnt concentrate.
     
    #362
    Commachio, Sep 25, 2017
  3. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    Whats the best time to go to the dentist?


    Tooth hurty.
     
    #363
    Commachio, Sep 25, 2017
  4. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    How many cans does it take to get an exotic bird pissed?













    Toucans.
     
    #364
    Commachio, Sep 25, 2017
    AKCJ likes this.
  5. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    Whats the difference between a well dressed man on a bicycle, and a badly dressed man on a uniicycle?










    Attire.
     
    #365
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2017
    Commachio, Sep 25, 2017
    Libby likes this.
  6. Number 1 Jasper

    Number 1 Jasper Well-Known Member

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    Old !

    But still funny !!!
     
    #366
    Number 1 Jasper, Sep 25, 2017
  7. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    I like my ceiling. Its not the best, but its up there.
     
    #367
    Commachio, Sep 25, 2017
    Blueman and Number 1 Jasper like this.
  8. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    I gave all my dead batteries away today.


    Free off charge.
     
    #368
    Last edited: Sep 25, 2017
    Commachio, Sep 25, 2017
    Number 1 Jasper likes this.
  9. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    How do you know if you have a high sperm count?

    She has to chew before swallowing.
     
    #369
    Commachio, Sep 25, 2017
    The Ginger Marks likes this.
  10. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    How do you get a nun pregnant?


    Dress her as an alter boy.
     
    #370
    Commachio, Sep 25, 2017
    The Ginger Marks likes this.

  11. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    Two lesbian frogs. One says 'do i taste like chicken'?
     
    #371
    Commachio, Sep 25, 2017
  12. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    Definition of trust.


    Blowjob off a cannibal.
     
    #372
    Commachio, Sep 25, 2017
  13. yossarian

    yossarian Well-Known Member

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    A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first NFL game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over 25 cents." Dumbfounded, her date asked, "What do you mean?" "Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it, and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was, 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!' I'm like, hello? It's only 25 cents!"
     
    #373
    yossarian, Sep 25, 2017
    Libby likes this.
  14. yossarian

    yossarian Well-Known Member

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    The first rule of Alzheimer's Club
    Is don't talk about chess club
     
    #374
    yossarian, Sep 25, 2017
    The Ginger Marks, FosseFilberto, Libby and 1 other person like this.
  15. yossarian

    yossarian Well-Known Member

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    i told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high
    She looked surprised
     
    #375
    yossarian, Sep 25, 2017
    commachio likes this.
  16. yossarian

    yossarian Well-Known Member

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    I took the shell off my racing snail, thinking it would go faster
    if anything, he's more sluggish
     
    #376
    yossarian, Sep 25, 2017
    The Ginger Marks, JakartaToon and commachio like this.
  17. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    What have women and the police got in common?


    Both like to make a ****ing noise, just to let you know they are coming.
     
    #377
    Commachio, Sep 25, 2017
    yossarian likes this.
  18. yossarian

    yossarian Well-Known Member

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    Apparently, someone gets stabbed in London every 52 seconds

    Poor bastard!
     
    #378
    yossarian, Sep 25, 2017
    commachio likes this.
  19. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    What have a virgin and a balloon in common?


    One tiny prick and its game over.
     
    #379
    Commachio, Sep 25, 2017
    BobbyD likes this.
  20. Commachio

    Commachio Rambo 2021

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    That is old, and that ****, thats its topper.
     
    #380
    Commachio, Sep 25, 2017
Page 19 of 41
: Comm uses forklift to trim nose hair

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