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Hoddle Is A God said:
Good question, Trebs.

I imagine the typical sex exile as a rather dull, balding, over-weight man, prone to excessive body-odour and bad breath, who spent a lot of his youth masturbating furiously and never really getting the breaks with real girls. One day, late into his 40s, he discovers Thailand, and suddenly his sexual fantasies have come true! Sure, he has to pay for it all, but it's only the flight and the hotel that cost the real money - the women (and, more particularly, the lady-boys) are dirt cheap.

Well, after many several trips out there, our erstwhile degenerate Chelsea supporter thinks to himself, "**** me! If I lived out here, I could spend the cost of several flights and hotel bills on buying a cheap-as-chips wooden shack, and I'd have hard cock and tits on tap 24/7!"

Before anyone can say "lube my passage!" Skiddy had emigrated to Thailand and become a sex exile.

I may have brushed over a few details, but that is essentially it, Trebs.
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You put waaaaaay too much thought in to this man
 
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Hoddle Is A God said:
Good question, Trebs.

I imagine the typical sex exile as a rather dull, balding, over-weight man, prone to excessive body-odour and bad breath, who spent a lot of his youth masturbating furiously and never really getting the breaks with real girls. One day, late into his 40s, he discovers Thailand, and suddenly his sexual fantasies have come true! Sure, he has to pay for it all, but it's only the flight and the hotel that cost the real money - the women (and, more particularly, the lady-boys) are dirt cheap.

Well, after many several trips out there, our erstwhile degenerate Chelsea supporter thinks to himself, "**** me! If I lived out here, I could spend the cost of several flights and hotel bills on buying a cheap-as-chips wooden shack, and I'd have hard cock and tits on tap 24/7!"

Before anyone can say "lube my passage!" Skiddy had emigrated to Thailand and become a sex exile.

I may have brushed over a few details, but that is essentially it, Trebs.
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Only the flights; the hotels are very cheap tbf :bandit:
 
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Off for a beach walk, got some serious cobwebs to blow away.

Might even fart and say better out than in or some other northern cliches I've never ****ing done.
Like walk the whippet wearing a flat cap.
 
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Hoddle Is A God said:
Good question, Trebs.

I imagine the typical sex exile as a rather dull, balding, over-weight man, prone to excessive body-odour and bad breath, who spent a lot of his youth masturbating furiously and never really getting the breaks with real girls. One day, late into his 40s, he discovers Thailand, and suddenly his sexual fantasies have come true! Sure, he has to pay for it all, but it's only the flight and the hotel that cost the real money - the women (and, more particularly, the lady-boys) are dirt cheap.

Well, after many several trips out there, our erstwhile degenerate Chelsea supporter thinks to himself, "**** me! If I lived out here, I could spend the cost of several flights and hotel bills on buying a cheap-as-chips wooden shack, and I'd have hard cock and tits on tap 24/7!"

Before anyone can say "lube my passage!" Skiddy had emigrated to Thailand and become a sex exile.

I may have brushed over a few details, but that is essentially it, Trebs.
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<laugh> Nice rant [HASHTAG]#bottler[/HASHTAG], you seem to know so much about Thailand, you certainly know more than me. What are your experiences with lady boys? You're clearly no stranger to anal sex so I have to ask, did you enjoy it?
Commie works within the building trade here making 35/50 million baht houses for the super rich.

For my part I'm just a farmer far far away from the glitz and places you would frequent. Just imagine the next time your serving a Macs chicken burger it probably came from one of my chicken farms.

Thanks for your continued support and maintaining my lifestyle. <cheers>
 
Hoddle Is A God said:
That did cross my mind, Bruv. But I always say that a good story is worth the telling.

By the way, that last bit does not apply to you, Bambi. Please, try to keep your stories as short as possible to avoid confusion. Cheers.
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No worries ... I enjoyed your autobiography ... better written than most of your posts (couple of unnecessary commas perhaps). Obviously I took the geographical references with a pinch of salt - but the detail in the first paragraph amply demonstrates the authenticity of the author's credibility on the subject matter.<ok> <laugh>
 
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FosseFilberto said:
No worries ... I enjoyed your autobiography ... better written than most of your posts (couple of unnecessary commas perhaps). Obviously I took the geographical references with a pinch of salt - but the detail in the first paragraph amply demonstrates the authenticity of the author's credibility on the subject matter.<ok> <laugh>
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Clueless in Basingstoke.
 
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Chief said:
Off for a beach walk, got some serious cobwebs to blow away.

Might even fart and say better out than in or some other northern cliches I've never ****ing done.
Like walk the whippet wearing a flat cap.
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Bet you have said that regarding farting. I know I have.

You are also partial to a flat cap.
 
Tomorrow, I am off to the family's coastal retreat. The wife and nippers are going ahead, today, so everything should be cosy for me, when I arrive tomorrow evening.

Tomorrow night, I am going to do the booze run, and Saturday, we'll be collecting the meat from the local butcher. It's goose for a second year running.
 
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FosseFilberto said:
..HIAG will be positively seething ...
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Meh.

Did you not read my previous post, Bambi?

It is rather difficult to seethe when one is lounging back in one's favourite Chesterfield, glass of vintage Oban in one hand and a tightly-packed Cuban half corona in the other, gazing out over the craggy cliff-tops of the Jurassic Coast; but you keep on pulling at your tiny pecker with that thought firmly implanted in your fevered mind, if it helps to bring you some festive cheer, my little wide-eyed, innocent doe.
<laugh>
 
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luvgonzo said:
We have goose every year, much better than turkey.
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I've never had it for Christmas. I ate goose while in Budapest and it was ok.

I quite like turkey, just has a tendency of going quite dry. Couple of years ago I did Gordon Ramsey's Christmas turkey recipe which was very good and kept the bird moist. Everyone loves a moist bird.
 
Sweats. said:
I've never had it for Christmas. I ate goose while in Budapest and it was ok.

I quite like turkey, just has a tendency of going quite dry. Couple of years ago I did Gordon Ramsey's Christmas turkey recipe which was very good and kept the bird moist. Everyone loves a moist bird.
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:biggrin:

We're having turkey on New Years Day so I need a recipe, I'll look up the Ramsey one.

Goose is quite easy to get now, used to be a potch as the supermarkets didn't do them.
 
Hoddle Is A God said:
Tomorrow, I am off to the family's coastal retreat. The wife and nippers are going ahead, today, so everything should be cosy for me, when I arrive tomorrow evening.

Tomorrow night, I am going to do the booze run, and Saturday, we'll be collecting the meat from the local butcher. It's goose for a second year running.
Click to expand...
Make sure she puts an extra gas bottle in the back of her Rover 25 mate, as it'll be ****ing freezing in that static of yours
 
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Hoddle Is A God said:
Meh.

Did you not read my previous post, Bambi?

It is rather difficult to seethe when one is lounging back in one's favourite Chesterfield, glass of vintage Oban in one hand and a tightly-packed Cuban half corona in the other, gazing out over the craggy cliff-tops of the Jurassic Coast; but you keep on pulling at your tiny pecker with that thought firmly implanted in your fevered mind, if it helps to bring you some festive cheer, my little wide-eyed, innocent doe.
<laugh>
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... you sure it's the Jurassic coast? ... should we get @brb to confirm that it's not in fact the Cretintaceous? <laugh>

Noticed the family aren't risking you driving again, Maureen <laugh>
 
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