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Off Topic Jokes thread

Discussion in 'Portsmouth' started by devonFRATTONiser, Jan 25, 2015.

  1. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #26481
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  2. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #26482
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  3. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #26483
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  4. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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  5. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #26485
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  6. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #26486
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  7. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    #26487
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  8. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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  9. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    #26489
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  10. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    A young man called his mother and announced excitedly that he had just met the woman of his dreams! Now what should he do? His mother advised: "Send her flowers, and on the card invite her to your place for a home-cooked meal!" So that's what he did. His mother called the day after the big date to see how things had gone. "The evening was a disaster," he moaned. "Why, didn't she come over?" asked his mother. "Oh, she came over, but she refused to cook...
     
    #26490
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  11. Wooperts_duck

    Wooperts_duck Well-Known Member
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    So this fella just asked me: “Do you want the winner of today’s Grand National?"

    I said: “No thanks, I've only got a small garden"
     
    #26491
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  12. antipodean exile

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  13. antipodean exile

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  14. antipodean exile

    antipodean exile Well-Known Member

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    The wife checked her husband's phone and found these names:
    - The tender one
    - The amazing one
    - Lady of my dreams
    She got angry and called the first number to find out that was his mother.
    Then she called the second number on which his sister replied .
    When she dialed the third number her own phone rang !!!!
    She cried until her eyes got swollen because she had doubted her innocent husband, so she gave him her whole months salary to make up for it.
    Husband took the money and bought a gift for his girlfriend whose name was saved as "uncle Mike - mechanic”
     
    #26494
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  15. antipodean exile

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    #26495
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  16. antipodean exile

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    #26496
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  17. antipodean exile

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    #26497
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  18. antipodean exile

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    #26498
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  19. antipodean exile

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  20. antipodean exile

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