Fish are always eating other fish. If fish could scream, the ocean would be loud as ****. You would not want to submerge your head, nothing but fish going "Ahhh, ****! I thought I looked like that rock!"
I think Pringles original intention was to make tennis balls... but on the day the rubber was supposed to show up a truckload of potatoes came. Pringles is a laid-back company, so they just said, "**** it, cut em up!"
On a traffic light green means 'go' and yellow means 'yield', but on a banana it's just the opposite. Green means 'hold on,' yellow means 'go ahead,' and red means, 'where the **** did you get that banana at?'
I like turtles because they're so chill. They don't hurt anyone. They're just like, "Hey man, I want to swim, and maybe eat some lettuce. But I'm gonna take my time getting there, I'm not in a rush. Because I'm a turtle."
Everybody has a different way to view the world. I would like you to know, when you see the simple things, to appreciate this life it's not too late to learn
I firmly believe that any man's finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious.
No, hayley! You shall not cook today! Stay away from the BBQ, we will use our manly tongs to turn over the sausages, while we drink bottles of beer and the rest of the men will crowd around for no apparent reason!