The Christmas Thread

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Spurlock said:
Soft lad. I love my Bwais too, don't mean I don't **** em up when I need to. One of my lads does kickboxing, he always kicks me when he walks past me. Last week he tried it, I gripped his leg, put him in a headlock and choked him out.

Man hasn't done it since.
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,,, you got boys mate ... I hit the girls where it really hurts... I confiscate their phones and switch the Wi-Fi off <whistle>
 
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Hoddle Is A God said:
Just back, mate.

My little un's grazing was superb! In that moment HIAG Junior was a sheep! I am so proud, and the memory of that moment will last forever.
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So while the concert was going on your 15 year old was pretending to be a sheep? Must have made for an interesting conversation in the Rover 25 on the way home.
 
Spurlock said:
Soft lad. I love my Bwais too, don't mean I don't **** em up when I need to. One of my lads does kickboxing, he always kicks me when he walks past me. Last week he tried it, I gripped his leg, put him in a headlock and choked him out.

Man hasn't done it since.
Click to expand...

To some, Bruv, that might sound a tad harsh, but I know where you're coming from. My 14 year old has been boxing for a year, and he keeps testing his skills on me (I was a fair boxer in my youth), and I did warn him not to push me too far with his little annoying jabs and digs. The day did come, of course. I didn't hit him hard, just enough to let him know that the old man can still mix it. I think his neck-brace comes off next week. He'll be fine.

That's the kind of Dunkirk spirit that one has to put up with, in the HIAG household.
 
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Stan said:
So while the concert was going on your 15 year old was pretending to be a sheep? Must have made for an interesting conversation in the Rover 25 on the way home.
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The Rover 25 was sold a while back. You're a bit behind - something you've probably constantly been told all of your life, Lightning.

Also, we live within walking distance of the school. We chose the house for that very reason.

In the HIAG household, the children's education is something we take seriously, Lightning.
 
Stan said:
It's not a concert you plum, it's a play.
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No, it was a concert. There was mostly singing and dancing. I don't know what you Northern types call shows with mostly singing and dancing, but down here, in the South, we call it a C-O-N-C-E-R-T.

Don't give me all of that "Ner! It's not a fookin' concert, lad! It's a fookin' play! An' yer dern't poot fookin' left leg in joost yet, yer daft 'appath!"
 
Hoddle Is A God said:
No, it was a concert. There was mostly singing and dancing. I don't know what you Northern types call shows with mostly singing and dancing, but down here, in the South, we call it a C-O-N-C-E-R-T.

Don't give me all of that "Ner! It's not a fookin' concert, lad! It's a fookin' play! An' yer dern't poot fookin' left leg in joost yet, yer daft 'appath!"
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So I was right then, during the concert your teenage lad was pretending to be a sheep. It was nice that they found a part for him <laugh>

"What am I going to sing Miss?"
"You're going to be the sheep Clive"
"Moo Miss. Moooooo!!!!"
"Very good Clive, I think I just heard your parents' car backfiring."
"Mooooo!!!!!"
 
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Stan said:
"What am I going to sing Miss?"
"You're going to be the sheep Clive"
"Moo Miss. Moooooo!!!!"
"Very good Clive, I think I just heard your parents' car backfiring."
"Mooooo!!!!!"
Click to expand...


Actually, I found that mildly amusing and entertaining, Lightning!
<laugh>

I reckon that Stan Junior would make a fantastic Inn Keeper, in the Northern School Nativity Play.

Joseph: "Is thar any room in't Inn?"
Stan Junior: "Ner! Thar's owt doin', lad! We're full."
Mary: "Fook that! I'm up duff, lad! I need a place ta rest!"
Stan Junior: "You can sleep in't fookin' stable wiv aal the cattle and ****e!"
Joseph: "Is that best yer can offer, lad?"
Stan Junior: "Aye, lad. An' be fookin' grateful fer it!"
 
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Hoddle Is A God said:
Actually, I found that mildly amusing and entertaining, Lightning!
<laugh>

I reckon that Stan Junior would make a fantastic Inn Keeper, in the Northern School Nativity Play.

Joseph: "Is thar any room in't Inn?"
Stan Junior: "Ner! Thar's owt doin', lad! We're full."
Mary: "Fook that! I'm up duff, lad! I need a place ta rest!"
Stan Junior: "You can sleep in't fookin' stable wiv aal the cattle and ****e!"
Joseph: "Is that best yer can offer, lad?"
Stan Junior: "Aye, lad. An' be fookin' grateful fer it!"
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So is Stan Jr from Yorkshire or Newcastle? He has a right to know.

Joseph seems to start out in Bristol and end up somewhere near Leeds.

I suspect your "I can do voices" skit on Christmas afternoon has all the guests reaching for the carving knife.
 
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Stan said:
So I was right then, during the concert your teenage lad was pretending to be a sheep. It was nice that they found a part for him <laugh>

"What am I going to sing Miss?"
"You're going to be the sheep Clive"
"Moo Miss. Moooooo!!!!"
"Very good Clive, I think I just heard your parents' car backfiring."
"Mooooo!!!!!"
Click to expand...

<laugh>
 
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