Can I just say, that for anyone who actually likes going on holiday with gobby Northern peasants, Butlins is your best bet. You get all the catchphrases. "Ner! Yer can't go on't ride again, yer little twat!" "I'll sher yer the back o' my fooking hand if yer cheek me back again, yer little bastard!" "Yer don't poot fooking left leg in't middle just yet, son!" Etc.
To be fair, I made the mistake of going to a Pontins a few years back, around Christmas time. I do not know what possessed me, but I can utterly assure you that I shall never be going back. It was the absolute worst holiday I have ever had. £900 it cost me! For what? Me, the missus, and my two boys put up in a garden shed with a dodgy window that let in cold blasts of air all night; gypsies for neighbours, with kids who spent their entire time trying to nick your stuff; the fattest, most Northern gobby drunken bastards I have ever had the indignity to try to avoid; "entertainment" that was about as funny as The Krankies... in fact, the entertainment actually was the fcuking Krankies! It was a holiday from Hell!
Glamping is the ****est of holidays. They make you pay for three nights, it costs the same as a four star hotel and they consider it "glam" because you have a half functioning toilet in your "tent". I ****ing hate camping but at least it's almost free. Glamping is paying a fortune to suffer.
I don't disagree. Mrs Stan's idea. I knew it was ****ing ridiculous from the minute it was suggested. The kids enjoyed it but that's not the point. I didn't and I paid for it.
Stan you really need to put your foot down with the Missus sometimes. Don't be all metrosexual about things. Tel her "get fukt luv, not spending me money on bollocks like that"
