Joke de Jour

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Matster

Well-Known Member
Forum Moderator
Feb 2, 2011
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Post anything in this thread that you've found entertaining whether it be jokes, pictures, stories, video, etc

[video=youtube;mRSsxfu0F3o]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRSsxfu0F3o[/video]
 
Q: what do you call a 3 legged donkey?
A: a wonky

Q: what do you call a 3 legged donkey with only 1 eye
A: a winky wonky

Q: what so you call a 3 legged donkey with 1 eye, who can play the guitar/piano
A: a honky tonky winky wonky
 
Two ladies are standing outside a dress shop.

One nudges the other and say 'Look, there: that's the one I'd get'

Suddenly the door opens and a cyclops comes out and punches her...
 
i do not believe gas will go up as champions, but it is a brave person who says they will not be in top 3 with us.
 
a scottish highlander and a young english lady teacher were lying on the banks of loch lomond, when sybil plucked up the courage and said hector is it true that scotsman wear nothing under their kilts. oh aye wee lassie, you just check, so she did . oooooh its gruesome said sybil. och aye said hector you do that again and it will be grew some more.

i would like to dedicate that one to brechin city
 
There are only 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don't.
 
Oh dear! We know AJ may not be one of our younger brothers but that smacks of too much Thatchers! So the challenge is to find older ones......

What's the difference between a jeweller and a jailer? One sells watches, the other watches cells.
What's the difference between a newspaper seller and a dachshund? One balls his wares on the pavement, the other wears his b...ls on the pavement.
What's the difference between a magician's wand and a policeman's truncheon? One is for cunning stunts the other is for stunning.............!!!!!
 
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He had to work it out with a pencil.
 
Actually, I have a great video but I can't upload it from my computer, and Youtube won't accept .mov files. Also it may be a bit too long. Unless any techies here know how to do it.
 
what is the difference between a lady churchgoer and a lady in the bath. the churchgoer has a soul full of hope!
did you hear about the cowboy who made a lassoo with his finger

and the carpenter who made a new door cry
 
a man in the loggerheads called the waitress and compained his coffee tasted like mud, well sir said she, twas only ground this morning