Annoying things commentators say

I dont know if is the bad standard of commentary, my grumpiness or what. But I always find certain sayings by commentators really annoying.

Which ones piss you off?

I'll start with

"He was unlucky there" - no he wasnt! He hit it 5m off target!!!

"He was clever in winning the penalty" - No he ****ing dived! He is a cheat

"If the shot was 2m left and 1m further down it would of gone in. The keeper was beaten" - Yeah... if I was born 60 years ago, with a massive inheritance I would of invented the internet and retired by 25.

If you want to be positive pick some good ones too

 

Your Lampards your Gerrards your Messis .

 

I've seen them given...

 

"Hello, my name is Alan Green"

 

Roy Keane's Ipswich...

 

Any thing Townsend says

 

Very strongly agree!

 

He had every right to go down

 

"power and pace" like it's the holy grail.

 

Chrissy Waddle and Steve Claridge both love saying "they've come off the pace" which does my head in.
I've never heard anyone else use that phrase and I'm not sure it really means anything.
Listen next time Waddle is doing a game, guarantee he'll say it at least twice.

 

That's the best .......ever, since 1996. If it is the best "ever" it means since the dawn of time.

 

he's hit it too well there


potential bananaskin of a fixture this one...

 

Not annoying, hilarious, Motty said it:

"And Seaman, just like a falling oak, manages to change direction."

"The goals made such a difference to the way this game went."

"Its Arsenal 0 - Everton 1, and the longer it stays like that the more you've got to fancy Everton."

"The World Cup is a truly International event."

"Brazil - they're so good it's like they are running round the pitch playing with themselves."

"I think this could be our best victory over Germany since the war."

"Not the first half you might have expected, even though the score might suggest that it was."

"The match has become quite unpredictable, but it still looks as though Arsenal will win the cup."

 

I loved that one, I'm still not really sure he meant it that way!

 

When Townsend makes the comment..

"Out of his feet and have a shot at the goals"

Why plural Andy?

There is only one goal at each end of the pitch... To use the 'Goals' would suggest that we are playing some form of hybrid sport where there are multiple goals scattered across the pitch..

 

Slightly off o/t

I get pissed of when my under 7's are playing and the parents are shouting stupid things like:

"loft it"

or

"line it"

or

"centre it"

Loads of other things, but it's bloody annoying when your trying to coach them during a game.

 

I know this is slightly O/T... Well ok it's bloody miles O/T but you have to include the late great David Colman in a thread like this....


"That's the fastest time ever run - but it's not as fast as the world record."

"Don't tell those coming in the final result of that fantastic match, but let's just have another look at Italy's winning goal."

"He's 31 this year - last year he was 30."

"He just can't believe what's not happening to him."

"In a moment we hope to see the pole vault over the satellite."

"He is accelerating all the time. The last lap was run in 64 seconds and the one before that in 62."

"For those of you watching who do not have television sets, live commentary is on Radio 2."

"The late start is due to the time."

"It's gold or nothing...and it's nothing. He comes away with the silver medal."

"There is Brendan Foster, by himself with 20,000 people."

"Forest have now lost six matches without winning."

"He's even smaller in real life than he is on the track."

"The front wheel crosses the finish line, closely followed by the back wheel."

"And here's Moses Kiptanui - the 19-year-old Kenyan who turned 20 a few weeks ago."

"This could be a repeat of what will happen in the European games next week."

"If that had gone in, it would have been a goal."

"This evening is a very different evening from the morning we had this morning."

"He's seven seconds ahead and that's a good question."

"I think there is no doubt, she'll probably qualify for the final."

"I have the feeling she (Manuela Machado) is an athlete who likes to get away from the opposition."

"Nobody has ever won the title twice before. He (Roger Black) has already done that."

"He's got his hands on his knees and holds his head in despair."

"Both of the Villa scorers - Withe and Mortimer - were born in Liverpool as was the Villa manager Ron Saunders who was born in Birkenhead."

 

Also slightly off topic, this reminded me of something Sean Lock suggested recently to make the game more interesting - have two balls! Also, one player from each side would actually be playing for the other team, but wouldn't tell anyone!

 

Paul Merson "He's gone and hit the beans on toast!" FFS Speak proper English man! None of this mockney cockney nonsense!