Banjo

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Jip Jaap Stam

Jip Jaap Stam

General Chat Moderator
Staff member
Jan 6, 2011
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Astley, Greater Manchester
There are two types of men in this world. Those whose banjo string is unscathed, and those who have witnessed the horror of their todger spewing blood at the hands of an overly-enthusiastic partmer.

To which group do you belong? I split mine 11 years ago.
 
Never happened to me but then I don't seem to have dated 20 stone munters with arms like grizzly bears that you and bib seem to have an attraction to.
 
I'm firmly in the frenulum intactus camp. I almost wish this was the sub-ER, 70s chocolate bar nostalgia thread that I thought it was going to be.
 
I snipped mine with a pair of fold up key ring Christmas cracker scissors when I was 17 , my member seemed to get more girth as a result .:emoticon-0114-dull:
True story , I also heated up a safety pin on a gas cooker and put it through my right nipple .:emoticon-0119-puke:
 
Snapped mine when I was 16 or 17.

Scary as ****. Blood pishin oot everywhere while your frantically think unsexy thoughts to get yer stupid libido to stop pumpin blood into yer stauner.

Didny help that she panicked and was jumping around with her tits swinging about.

Is it wrong that I found the specks of blood that hit her diddies arousing?
 
- jordan - said:
But did you finish the job?
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Did I ****. If your banjo goes, then as long as you've got a hard-on, you'll gush like a slit throat. Your cock wilts automatically to stop you bleeding out. If you'd taken a viagara, you'd be ****ed.

The only time I've seen more blood is when the missus gave birth. Truly horrific, but it was the making of me.
 
Jip Jaap Stam said:
Did I ****. If your banjo goes, then as long as you've got a hard-on, you'll gush like a slit throat. Your cock wilts automatically to stop you bleeding out. If you'd taken a viagara, you'd be ****ed.

The only time I've seen more blood is when the missus gave birth. Truly horrific, but it was the making of me.
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Yikes. Touch wood (literally of course) it's never happened to me, although my stomach always drops when it slips out and crashes against her on the next thrust. She was on top I presume?
 
Never happened to me.

It happened to my mate though and he was told if it didn't heal on it's own or if it happened again then he'd be best getting circumcised. No idea how this story turned out though, can't say that I often ask my mates how their dick is getting on.
 
Mines in tact. I think to those who've snapped it's because your not getting her wet enough before you pump her. Either that or, more probably, mines fine cos every fanny I've ever pumped has already been stretched. :D
 
gas. said:
Mines in tact. I think to those who've snapped it's because your not getting her wet enough before you pump her. Either that or, more probably, mines fine cos every fanny I've ever pumped has already been stretched. :D
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or you have a small cock
 
- jordan - said:
Yikes. Touch wood (literally of course) it's never happened to me, although my stomach always drops when it slips out and crashes against her on the next thrust. She was on top I presume?
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No. She was bladdered and more up for it than her fanny would allow.

Fabulous Fabio said:
Never happened to me.

It happened to my mate though and he was told if it didn't heal on it's own or if it happened again then he'd be best getting circumcised. No idea how this story turned out though, can't say that I often ask my mates how their **** is getting on.
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Apparently that it is true. A mate of mine had to have the full circumcision. Ten years later and he blows his own head off with a shotgun. Coincidence? I hope so.

gas. said:
Mines in tact. I think to those who've snapped it's because your not getting her wet enough before you pump her. Either that or, more probably, mines fine cos every fanny I've ever pumped has already been stretched. :D
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I am genuinely disappointed. Thought you'd be a definite snappee.
 
gas. said:
Mines in tact. I think to those who've snapped it's because your not getting her wet enough before you pump her. Either that or, more probably, mines fine cos every fanny I've ever pumped has already been stretched. :D
Click to expand...

Readers wives.
 
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