Keep this quiet...

I'm giving a lecture on the nocturnal treasures of the British countryside.

 

Looks like you'll have to settle for Paul Ross again.

 

Want to meet up for a ****?

 

yes

 

So you mean me hiding out in the bushes spying on Tina.

 

<huff>.

 

I feel you're responsible, G, for letting me know he's coming this way.

You've match-made like our Cilla.

Ty

 

Count yourself lucky. Dan's just taken a menopausal bullet for yie.

 

.

 

What, you want to **** Dan?

 

It certainly is an interesting subject, Simon, and thanks for your kind comments. oh, and a warm welcome to GC - I hope you are as enamoured by the local clientèle as I am.

Regarding the downpipes, if they were to be 'seen' then cast iron, if they were out of sight, than uPVC.

Gosh, isn't pipework fascinating?

 

well who doesn't?

 

ER.

He's more into cuddles nowadays.

 

Everyone who actually knows me

 

Thanks for the welcome Snips,

ah I see, uPVC is unsightly to say the least so thank heavens it was hidden. Where did you source your new cast iron pipes from may I ask?

PS my name is Josh. Simon is my friend

 

We can send him a copy of the video.

 

Ahh Josh, the black guy who's friendly with Simon?

The pipe was sourced from the local Drain Center in Glasgow.

 

It's a side of myself I have never explored

 

Good question Josh,a foundry or salvage yard maybe?

 

It's a shame Tina hates you really - we could have had a threesome.