Nev shouldn't read this

canny whack it!

 

You can whack them all you want, but it costs you extra!

 

When I was flying back from the Ivory Coast I met a boy from Stornaway on the flight back he'd been staying in the same Ibis hotel as me. He then tells me he's been shagging the hookers that were in hanging about the hotel bar and finishes it by saying "They don't even make you wear a johnny"

AIDS ALERT, AIDS ALERT

 

You would need to double bag it at the very least if you were pumping one in the Ivory Coast surely?

 

Is it only ugly people who pump prostitutes?

 

Ask Wayne Rooney

 

No, my mate and his wife run the 2nd biggest escort agency in Aberdeen and you get all sorts. Most of them are folk with extremely weird paraphilias. There is one guy who likes to be put in an adult nappy and then be breastfed.

 

Or Hugh Grant.

 

Is it not only ugly birds that like football?

 

Ask Ethel

 

av shagged hunners of hookers. well maybe 50 and am a handsome bastard

 

No, I'm ****ing gorgeous.

 

What's the attraction with hookers though? Is it a power thing?

 

its a lazy thing

 

Nah, it's just that most girls who think they are really dirty don't know the meaning of the word. You try asking someone you've just met to wear a gas mask whilst getting a sausage thrown up her brown sauce bottle. It's just not happening. Pay some hooker and she'll ask if you need her to bring her own gas mask.

 

I can tell by your patter that you are not only gorgeous, but classy too!

 

I thought Gumtree and internet chat rooms had that type of clientele too.

 

You do realise sarcasm is the lowest form of wit?

 

I don't agree, butter man. It must take some planning/guts to snare the right hooker.

 

It may well be the lowest form of wit, but sarcasm is by way the funniest!